Fun with X - Beyond the Frontier

The following quotes are all collected from our messageboard.
You know you have been playing X-BTF for too long when...
When X was about to be released some people were waiting for the release day after day:
Day One
Damn IT, Damn IT to hell
Intriguing Conversation about Space and Sound
If I...
Spaceflies

You always wondered why we are into space games?
See some of the people behind X -BTF
See how entertaining a press presentation can be
The X girls

You know you have played too much X-BTF when...

Posted By: Orion McMurry on 11 Apr 2000, 14:45

• You decide to paint your logo on your vehicle.
• You go to a store and can't figure out why they don't list the cost in "credits"
• you wonder why your vehicle isn't equiped with a S.E.T.A. device.
• you keep looking for the "ctrl" key while you are driving in heavy traffic.
  I am sure there are others, post your own. :)

Posted By: Orion McMurry on 11 Apr 2000, 14:45

• You get your spouse to slowly rotate the baby around the Z-Axis while you are 'docking' spoonfulls of babyfood.
• There is a misunderstanding at your exotic movie dealer when you ask if he has any 'X videos'.
• When your spouse finds the resulting purchase you are dismayed to find you cannot simply open your cargo bays and eject the contriband into space.
• A Split appears in your relationship.
• You spend an hour arguing with the cabbie over whether "Roy's Cocktail Bar" could be described as a Bliss Place or not.
• You ask the barman for Space Fuel.
  a) He sniggers and pours you some - and you are not concerned.
  b) After an disasterous and humiliating mission to the toilet you make a mental note to get more rudder optimisation upgrades ASAP.
• You are utterly convinced the girl at the end of the bar is a Xenon spy. There is a brief moment of confusion, as your eyes refuse to zoom-to 100x magnification, then you drop your drink trying to take a screenshot.
• You are frantically assessing her rapidly approaching boyfriend's missile capibility when you realise he is not a space station after all. All too late you realise 25MW shields are no help in a punch-up. Precious seconds are wasted groping for a TAB key on the bar.
• Turbo engaged, you get disorientated on the dance floor and mistake the disco lights and 70s keyboard music for an incoming Xenon ambush.
• You panic and frantically attack anyone wearing a red T-shirt.
• You are promptly escorted from the premesis by some large, unfriendly men who refuse to respect your authority as a Teladi Law Enforcement Officer.
• The Police misinterpret both the situation and your 'Legalize SpaceWeed' T-shirt. They also refuse to respect your authority as a Teladi Law Enforcement Officer.
• Innocent of any crime you expect a painless 'Contriband Scan'. You are dismayed when subjected to a 'Deep Probe'.
• You spend your night in the cells looking for an 'ESCAPE' key.
• You return home in disgrace to find both spouse and X-BTF CD missing. Luckily she does not know about the spare copy hidden in the toolbox under the kitchen sink. Halfway across the Family-Whi system you realise she has taken your car, credit cards, cat and baby too.
• Looking for an obscure X-Fact you find a message in this forum telling you she wants a divorce.

Posted By: Gaz on 12 Apr 2000, 12:15

You know when you have played too much X-BTF when you start thinking up advertising slogans for the products in the game!
'Gamma H.E.T.P: Get those really tough stains out of your universe!'

Posted By: JeffB on 12 Apr 2000, 03:03

• You fly from an airport in Dallas, Texas / USA, and out of curiosity at some point after taking off you ask the stewardess how the plane is doing and where you are and how far along you are on the journey, and she replies "LANDED ..... BogusInternational ....." and you don't know WHERE the hell you are
• Your car continues to burn up gasoline even when it is switched off, parked, in the garage...Taking your car to a gas station (or for petrol, for you folks in the UK) - the attendant informs you that you have to aquire the petrol from Saudi Arabia yourself, THEN *YOU* can fill up the petrol dispensor, THEN you can refuel your car
• A family member asks you to do a favor, and tells you to write down directions - you end up writing : ' .. proceed until you are ..NOW ENTERING-YOUR LIVINGROOM .. NOW ENTERING-YOUR HOUSE'S ENTRANCE ALCOVE.. NOW TURNING-YOUR DOORKNOB.. ..NOW ENTERING-SIDEWALK.. NOW ENTERING-DRIVEWAY.. ..NOW ENTERING-YOUR CAR.. ..NOW TURNING-IGNITION KEY.. ..NOW EXITING-DRIVEWAY .. ..NOW ENTERING-STREET.. ..NOW ENTErrrr..' at which point you burn your relatives head off with a plasma torch...

Posted By: Papsmear on 11 Apr 2000, 21:18

You go to your mechanic for a lube, oil & filter....
and ask him for engine tuning and rudder optimization

Posted By: Flash on 11 Apr 2000, 21:04

• When you're blasting the Goner temple.
  
• When you're blasting the gates.
  
• When you're blasting everything in sight!
  
• When your counting the different ways to mess up the plot.
  
• When you think cheating is a normal way to play the game.
  
• When you drive into your garage and you're looking for the safe docking speed line.
  
• When you attack the Xenon with 300 wingmen.
  
• When you have a factory in every sector.
  
• When you're posting to this board and you don't know why.
  
• When you press the J key to speed up things on every different game you play.
  You have to love the game! Next to UT, it's the greatest to pass the time (SETA time that is).
  

Posted By: The Thrawn on 11 Apr 2000, 20:12

• When you actively begin to hate Split.
• When you go around pretending to be a Boron like me.
• When no matter what game your playing you hover over Shift & J
• When you try to start a business in snail farming.
• When you refer to parking your car as 'docking'.
• When you wonder why things don't have drive trails.
• When a teacher starts to look like a Paranid. Oh, hold on, mine does.
  Sorry, not very imagenative I know, but great idea man! I have had many laughs reading folks responses - even if they took my ideas.
  Death To All Split! Long Live The Boron Kingdom!

Posted By: AdmiralG on 11 Apr 2000, 18:02

Well I have played too much X as I ordered Sushi take out on the phone the other night and asked for a fried Bofu Salad and when the woman said what I said it again a fried Bofu Salad please, Well Tofu did show up, lucky me as my lady likes her Tofu fried, and she had a strange look on her face when I hung up, Whats Bofu she asked, I smiled and said wrong universe.
Some nights I go to bed with green grid lines zipping by in my head when i close my eyes, like I am running on the eliptic display.
Well I have not ordered a Beefsteak Cahoonas for lunch yet,
Or hear voices welcoming me back to my bathroom when i enter in the morning.
Keep the X growing

Posted By: Ivan on 11 Apr 2000, 17:17

• You file your tax return for the Inland Revenue giving all your profits from the X Universe.
• You check for hidden jump gates in the garage.
• You make a request for Sainsbury's to stock Nostrop Oil
• You develop a sudden liking for North Sea oil refineries.
• Purple Lights in nightclubs give you pirate-combat flashbacks..

Posted By: Miskarr on 11 Apr 2000, 16:46

• You wish to install a SETA in your desk to make it through the work day.
• You wish to install a SETA in your desk to make it through the work day -- so you can go home and play X!
• You drive around town all day looking for a Goner Temple.
• You think your 2x125MW shields will protect you when you try to ram your way through rush hour traffic.
• You think ramming is the single most effective way of getting rid of your enemies.
• when your flashlight runs out of power you go to the store and ask for 'crystals'
• at the next board meeting you ask why we can't just eliminate the opposition.
• you try to find a jump-gate that will take you to work faster.
• due to playing the game for so long your family falls apart and you gain an X-wife. (think about the spelling if you don't get it)
• you've already pre-ordered "Multi-play X-tension 26: Now we've fixed the bugs"
• you figure if you start up your own business that you won't need to hire workers and probably don't need to by as many raw materials as your competition. However, the way you're standing when you hire the contractor will determine your future success.
• AND THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL... you start a thread like this one. Ok, Ok, so I got a bit carried a way, but it seemed like a good way to pass the time at work until I find out which depot to buy the SETA at. I'm sorry for posting quite so much poor humor.

Posted By: Gaz on 11 Apr 2000, 15:12

• When you wait for green docking lights when you park the car.
• When you ask the mobile phone for information on a structure.
• You ask for Nostrop oil at the service station cafe.
• You refer to towns and cities as 'systems' or 'sectors'.
  These arn't very good but I only had 20 minutes to think of them !!

Posted By: Synex on 11 Apr 2000, 14:59

You know when you have played too much X-BTF when...
You put the CD in the CD-Rom.
:)

Posted By: Ivan 'Cmdr Kolpath' Tefalco on 16 May 2000, 21:16

Thought it might be worth adding a few more to the list... ;O)(Small spoiler below for those who haven't finished the plot).. Cheers -Ivan. ;O)

• Your swear your wife has been moving your factories around..
• You start whining more than your dog when your freighters don't arrive back from distant sectors.
• You start expecting door frames to light up every time you get close to one.
• You ask your doctor for collagen injections in your lips and your top & bottom eyelids raised and lowered so you can look more like the Argon.
• Your wife starts threatening old men with white beards on the street.
• Opening a Snail Ranch in your back garden seems a viable option.
• You've travelled right in between the three planets in the Three Worlds Sector in search of the mystery upgrade rumoured to be floating there..
• You start searching the phone directory for people caller Goner, then call them demanding to know how to get back to Earth.
• You're convinced the Argon are naked from the waist down.
• You spend several weeks trying to push the broken jumpgate into a Teladi sector in the hope that they'll mend it...
• You see scrolling screens of hexadecimal code in your sleep..
• Your wife keeps asking why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are in XBTF. You have problems trying to explain to her that they're Teladi & probably haven't even heard of Pizza..

Day One

Posted by: Simon ITALY on 24.09.99 17:17:08

Ok..now we are at day one... can't see Ivan anywhere, guess he must be somewhere around Mars o Saturn with the manual on his knees. There are people who bought it yesterday... people who found it this moarning and others that can't find it anywhere.
Here in Italy got to wait other 4-5 days...i've polished my joystick, bought a new chair, cleaned the monitor, boosted my stereo...ok..i'm ready... I WANT TO PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Damn It.Damn It to Hell.

Posted by: David Hubner on 25.09.99 17:06:20

Well so far i have missed two copys by 1 hour waited 3 years for the game and have started crying when anyone says "eXactly" or "eXtremly". I don't believe it, all the shops in the south of england say it shall be another week but HMV had copy's 2 days ago???????? Does anyone know how long if i order online it would be delivered to england?? Thanks Dave

If I...

Posted by: Jar Jar on 30.06.99 01:13:00

If I fart while in space will it make a sound?

Posted by: Buttman on 30.06.99 09:45:44

Dont think it will smell either.

Posted by: Nicos Gollan on 30.06.99 15:18:16

Of course it smells, and it makes a (very weak) sound. Of course these are only perceptible to those creatures that can travel in space unprotected (that's "without suffering from explosive decompression"). Furthermore, that (hypothetic) creature's got to have a very sensitive hearing and a BIG nose th catch the faint smell of methane. It has to be able to survive extreme subzero/heat situations.

Posted by: Buttman on 30.06.99 15:40:36

Prove it....

Posted by: Nicos Gollan on 01.07.99 14:20:01

Just come up here and watch.

Posted by: Buttman on 02.07.99 09:46:40

Ehh....ok..i guess,...I believe you.

Posted by: Robert Beckwith on 02.07.99 11:21:55

Only space-sim fans could have such an intriguing conversation...

Spacefiles

Posted by: Commander Jamieson on 25 Feb 2000, 19:03

> I just heard the description of spaceflies. Anyone ever wondered how do they communicate by sound in space? Woocash the Curious *********************************************************************** *********************************************************************** Yeah. The rub their little legs in a megahigh frequency which produces a subatomic shift of the space continuum in hyper space. This causes the acceleration of triple quantums to a quarkplane state. In this state the Einstein effect takes over and permits the formation of overexited wolfram emitting Doppler framps. As those framps are emitted in a precise and single polar direction, it permits the spaceflies to change the modulation of the megahigh frequency and hence differently spaced framps produce different meanings. I would have thought everyone knew this, obviously I am wrong. Happy hunting. THANK you EGOSOFT for keeping the E L I T E spirit alive. Commander Jamieson