DID run numero uno.
Start: Lost Lar
So either this is going to be really short or slightly less short.
This is Tana Ro. Somewhat of an unusual boron. And a little bit more violent, hee.
1 - A fishy does not drink coffee
Frankly, my luck is horrid. I thought I had hit it big, what with this job I landed. A simple job to transport the Queen's daughter and myself with a jumpdrive? Easy.
Starting up the jump drive and trying that human drink 'coffee', I settled back for a relaxing transition dreaming of that cute little daughter.
Cue disaster number one!
"Jump drive malfunction! ERROR 523 ## TOO MUCH COFFEE"
Sure enough, apparently the beverage had ended up all over the main jumpdrive computer. Damn. That's going to cost a bi-
"EXITING HYPERSPACE"
... Well crap.
Instead of in the middle of nowhere, my ship came up right next to one of the worst places I ever imagine I could be.
A xenon sector. And not just any xenon sector, but a xenon CORE.
Coffee forgotten, I lunged for the controls.
Cue disaster number two!
One of those big and menacing xenon ships I've only ever heard about was just about right next to my ship. One of them Qs, I think.
And it really didn't look like it wanted to make friends.
Ignoring the little insults and curses coming over the intership comm, I made the ship bolt far too slowly.
If I ever make it out of this, the hell with giving people rides. Never again.
And that daughter ain't cute enough for this either.
Assets:
1x Angel
1,350 credits.
Chances: Not a hope in hell.
Fishies and why coffee is such a bad idea (DiD)
Moderators: TheElf, Moderators for English X Forum
Still alive! Whee!
2 - A fishy does not swim fast
Never before have I felt that my ship is too slow. Really.
Considering that I'm dead smack middle in the sector and everyone and their hard drives want me for lunch, 129 m/s just isn't fast enough for me.
Telling my turrets to shoot at anything that comes close, I start running ever so slowly towards the west gate, which seems to have slightly less numbers of Xenon in the general path towards it. Slightly.
Of course, Mr Q. seems bent on making me and my ship into a cuddly warm glow. However, said Q also seems to be lacking in the aiming department and is going through ammo faster than a Split goes through cannon fodder.
But I'm slightly more worried about the rapidly catching up and closing xenon fighters. Granted, there's only a couple which currently have the speed to catch me but they hurt.
All in all though, it's looking alright.
Right up until I hear a beep and see missiles heading my way.
And lots of them.
Since I'm somewhat busy trying to not become photon flambe, and my turret gunner is a little bit stupid, what with having imbibed a little too much space fuel the night before, well, I feel like I'm totally screwed.
First missile hits, giving my shields a wallop and sending my ship spinning and spinning.. huuuurk.
Fighting down nausea and a desire to chuck my gunner out the airlock, I manage to at least direct my ship in the general direction of escape to possible not-death or perhaps a xenon fleet.
What with the spinning though, it appears that those pesky fighters have caught up.
Thankfully, their aim is pretty rotten too.
That's when the second missile hits.
I do have to give my gunner some credit. Least he seems to have shot some of those missiles down.
Otherwise in between bouts of nausea and flying for my life, I would have strangled him before one of those happy fun balls of plasma death reduces us, my royal passenger and my hapless gunner to particles.
But I'm lucky now. Just as those fighters really start swarming me, I manage to get through the gate!
25% shields and holding, woo!
And as I come out the other side -- Oh bugger.
Assets:
1x Angel
2 - A fishy does not swim fast
Never before have I felt that my ship is too slow. Really.
Considering that I'm dead smack middle in the sector and everyone and their hard drives want me for lunch, 129 m/s just isn't fast enough for me.
Telling my turrets to shoot at anything that comes close, I start running ever so slowly towards the west gate, which seems to have slightly less numbers of Xenon in the general path towards it. Slightly.
Of course, Mr Q. seems bent on making me and my ship into a cuddly warm glow. However, said Q also seems to be lacking in the aiming department and is going through ammo faster than a Split goes through cannon fodder.
But I'm slightly more worried about the rapidly catching up and closing xenon fighters. Granted, there's only a couple which currently have the speed to catch me but they hurt.
All in all though, it's looking alright.
Right up until I hear a beep and see missiles heading my way.
And lots of them.
Since I'm somewhat busy trying to not become photon flambe, and my turret gunner is a little bit stupid, what with having imbibed a little too much space fuel the night before, well, I feel like I'm totally screwed.
First missile hits, giving my shields a wallop and sending my ship spinning and spinning.. huuuurk.
Fighting down nausea and a desire to chuck my gunner out the airlock, I manage to at least direct my ship in the general direction of escape to possible not-death or perhaps a xenon fleet.
What with the spinning though, it appears that those pesky fighters have caught up.
Thankfully, their aim is pretty rotten too.
That's when the second missile hits.
I do have to give my gunner some credit. Least he seems to have shot some of those missiles down.
Otherwise in between bouts of nausea and flying for my life, I would have strangled him before one of those happy fun balls of plasma death reduces us, my royal passenger and my hapless gunner to particles.
But I'm lucky now. Just as those fighters really start swarming me, I manage to get through the gate!
25% shields and holding, woo!
And as I come out the other side -- Oh bugger.
Assets:
1x Angel
I'll try to keep it entertaining. 
3 - Fishy does not like computers
I swear this universe hates me. Having narrowly escaped from that death sentence, assuming that those little flying harddrives in the core don't want to follow me, have their little friends in front of me.
Another Q, a little m6 variant which my computer cheerfully calls a "P", in that same cheerful voice that tells you not to worry, it'll be over soon. Right before the bombs hit.
Well, I just ran through their core sector and I'm still alive, and I'd rather stay so. For now.
This time, I'm a little more satisfied in that my Angel is actually faster than anything in this sector. Well, that may be in part because that fighter doesn't want to leave the protection of the bigger ships where I can seriously savage it with my back turret.
Just to keep that the same, I decide to chuck the remains of the jumpdrive out, with a couple of decidedly offensive gestures and miming exactly what I did to the motherboard.
In hindsight, maybe the coffee all over it was a bit overboard..
Cheeky overgrown CPUs. One day I'm going to come back here with my personal fleet and wipe 'em from the face of the galaxy.
Of course, not with want for trying, the Q seems to love sending missiles at me. And my gunner, somewhat more sober and considerably more empty (What from having thrown up with all that rolling we did earlier. Another cleanup job), he can at least keep the missiles at bay.
But then I spot a little ship coming around an asteroid. Then I looked again.
It isn't a little ship, and that asteroid isn't all that close.
It's a BIG ship. Eep.
Of course, the little pack behind me hasn't quite caught up. It actually is falling behind, except for one little fighter that seemed to take offense.
But lucky me, I manage to get through the gate. Despite the fact that her Royal Highness hasn't stopped screaming for the past little while. Aren't those royal types supposed to faint or something?
And once through the gat-.. I swear this universe hates me.
To the south: A whole carrier battle group of Xenon.
To the north: A destroyer with fighter escort.
Now, since I'm technically supposed to get to Ocean of Fantasy, that means north. And I think a fighter swarm is a bit more deadly than a destroyer.
So north it is!
On my merry way running like a fish in heat, I spot the first casualties of the sector. Or more accurately, my new best friends.
http://img12.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00003.png/
Pirates. Way to go to sacrifice your lives for one much more precious. Glad I didn't tell them who was on board though. I don't really want to deal with a kidnapping here.
So that takes care of the carrier for a minute or two.
Pondering about exactly how to get past that destroyer is somewhat solved by a split battlegroup with suicidal tendencies!
http://img510.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00006.png/
Not that they look like they'll last long.
http://img529.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00004.png/
http://img17.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00002q.png/
Of course, I technically could attempt to grab all the loot I saw, but y'know, I prefer being alive and poor instead of dead and poor.
So through the north gate I go into Zyarth's Domain
Into an even worse surprise.
Assets:
1x Angel
3 - Fishy does not like computers
I swear this universe hates me. Having narrowly escaped from that death sentence, assuming that those little flying harddrives in the core don't want to follow me, have their little friends in front of me.
Another Q, a little m6 variant which my computer cheerfully calls a "P", in that same cheerful voice that tells you not to worry, it'll be over soon. Right before the bombs hit.
Well, I just ran through their core sector and I'm still alive, and I'd rather stay so. For now.
This time, I'm a little more satisfied in that my Angel is actually faster than anything in this sector. Well, that may be in part because that fighter doesn't want to leave the protection of the bigger ships where I can seriously savage it with my back turret.
Just to keep that the same, I decide to chuck the remains of the jumpdrive out, with a couple of decidedly offensive gestures and miming exactly what I did to the motherboard.
In hindsight, maybe the coffee all over it was a bit overboard..
Cheeky overgrown CPUs. One day I'm going to come back here with my personal fleet and wipe 'em from the face of the galaxy.
Of course, not with want for trying, the Q seems to love sending missiles at me. And my gunner, somewhat more sober and considerably more empty (What from having thrown up with all that rolling we did earlier. Another cleanup job), he can at least keep the missiles at bay.
But then I spot a little ship coming around an asteroid. Then I looked again.
It isn't a little ship, and that asteroid isn't all that close.
It's a BIG ship. Eep.
Of course, the little pack behind me hasn't quite caught up. It actually is falling behind, except for one little fighter that seemed to take offense.
But lucky me, I manage to get through the gate. Despite the fact that her Royal Highness hasn't stopped screaming for the past little while. Aren't those royal types supposed to faint or something?
And once through the gat-.. I swear this universe hates me.
To the south: A whole carrier battle group of Xenon.
To the north: A destroyer with fighter escort.
Now, since I'm technically supposed to get to Ocean of Fantasy, that means north. And I think a fighter swarm is a bit more deadly than a destroyer.
So north it is!
On my merry way running like a fish in heat, I spot the first casualties of the sector. Or more accurately, my new best friends.
http://img12.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00003.png/
Pirates. Way to go to sacrifice your lives for one much more precious. Glad I didn't tell them who was on board though. I don't really want to deal with a kidnapping here.
So that takes care of the carrier for a minute or two.
Pondering about exactly how to get past that destroyer is somewhat solved by a split battlegroup with suicidal tendencies!
http://img510.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00006.png/
Not that they look like they'll last long.
http://img529.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00004.png/
http://img17.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00002q.png/
Of course, I technically could attempt to grab all the loot I saw, but y'know, I prefer being alive and poor instead of dead and poor.
So through the north gate I go into Zyarth's Domain
Into an even worse surprise.
Assets:
1x Angel
That'd be a crummy way to end, after all this!
4 - A fishy loves cannon fodder
Of all things. ALL things, to be on the other side of the gate.
It's not a bird, not a Split nor a Teladi trying to sell you your grandmother.
http://img13.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00010.png/
It's another Q. I mean, grah! Every single sector I've been running through has one of these little things. What does it have against me? Seriously..
However, I'm somewhat thankful. That suicide Split group hadn't fully come through the gate and had split (pardon the pun) their forces.
http://img13.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00011.png/
Must have hoped that the Xenon would die laughing.
Of course, when that Viper managed to land one of his missiles, I started rooting for them. I mean, after all, once that big nasty gun-bristling robot had enough fun with them, it'd come after me.
But the explosion was nice. Pity that they have no idea of what "Safeties" are.
http://img36.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00012.png/
So saluting my new heartfelt friends, I regretfully left them to their fate in lieu of being blasted and melted into a new xenon ship.
Well, it wasn't really regretfully. More like "HAHAHAHA SUCKERS".
Of course I think the Split were too busy dying to really notice.
And now I've the hardest part of my little sojourn, one which is deadlier than a Xenon to brave: Local traffic.
Assets:
1x Angel "Lifesaver"
4 - A fishy loves cannon fodder
Of all things. ALL things, to be on the other side of the gate.
It's not a bird, not a Split nor a Teladi trying to sell you your grandmother.
http://img13.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00010.png/
It's another Q. I mean, grah! Every single sector I've been running through has one of these little things. What does it have against me? Seriously..
However, I'm somewhat thankful. That suicide Split group hadn't fully come through the gate and had split (pardon the pun) their forces.
http://img13.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00011.png/
Must have hoped that the Xenon would die laughing.
Of course, when that Viper managed to land one of his missiles, I started rooting for them. I mean, after all, once that big nasty gun-bristling robot had enough fun with them, it'd come after me.
But the explosion was nice. Pity that they have no idea of what "Safeties" are.
http://img36.imageshack.us/i/x3screen00012.png/
So saluting my new heartfelt friends, I regretfully left them to their fate in lieu of being blasted and melted into a new xenon ship.
Well, it wasn't really regretfully. More like "HAHAHAHA SUCKERS".
Of course I think the Split were too busy dying to really notice.
And now I've the hardest part of my little sojourn, one which is deadlier than a Xenon to brave: Local traffic.
Assets:
1x Angel "Lifesaver"
-
Troubleshooter11
- Posts: 723
- Joined: Sat, 8. Nov 08, 02:51
Well, I did notice on the news lately that there was some fish dude who was charged with kidnapping a boron princess and trying to sell them to the Imacs in Blender central. Probably all the races think you kidnapped your passenger and that is generally frowned upon.
Though the split seem to say: "Kidnap makes nice shootout, Split then turn on you"
Though the split seem to say: "Kidnap makes nice shootout, Split then turn on you"
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EmperorJon
- Posts: 9378
- Joined: Mon, 29. Dec 08, 20:58
I actually noticed that after a while and was wondering "Wait, what?"
Pity that you can't actually buy much at that point!
5 - A fishy wishes for traffic control
Thankfully, other than a couple of angry paranid and probably breaking every single traffic law in existence (If any), I arrive at my destination with my royal PITA still hollering her head off.
Why did I get stuck with the noisiest?
Well, job done and I've dropped off her highness with little plomp and ceremony, except for the little issue where she started baling at the nearest official about her horrid treatment.
Rather than get arrested, I think I'll quietly exit. Maybe rampage, because now I note that I can't buy anything.
Inspecting my craft, I also realize that the princess just happened to have totally destroyed what little livability the cargo bay had. This upgraded the little girl from "PITA" to "Public enemy number 1"
So, now on a quest to actually buy anything from the area, I set out to do some little trading runs with the pitiful amount of credits I have.
Yeah, thanks for not paying for the ride.
While running Ecells at Menelaus' paradise, I suddenly remembered the bunch of Pulsed Beam Emitters that I had er.. "Acquired" from the royal Boron armory just in case of a situation like this.
Not to mention that the ships I'll use can't use 'em. Better to have the profit now, methinks.
With that transaction made, I'm now a millionaire. Which is all nice and dandy except that some unwelcome visitors decided to play "Mass invasion".
Assets:
1x Angel "Lifesaver"
Credits: 1324002
Pity that you can't actually buy much at that point!
5 - A fishy wishes for traffic control
Thankfully, other than a couple of angry paranid and probably breaking every single traffic law in existence (If any), I arrive at my destination with my royal PITA still hollering her head off.
Why did I get stuck with the noisiest?
Well, job done and I've dropped off her highness with little plomp and ceremony, except for the little issue where she started baling at the nearest official about her horrid treatment.
Rather than get arrested, I think I'll quietly exit. Maybe rampage, because now I note that I can't buy anything.
Inspecting my craft, I also realize that the princess just happened to have totally destroyed what little livability the cargo bay had. This upgraded the little girl from "PITA" to "Public enemy number 1"
So, now on a quest to actually buy anything from the area, I set out to do some little trading runs with the pitiful amount of credits I have.
Yeah, thanks for not paying for the ride.
While running Ecells at Menelaus' paradise, I suddenly remembered the bunch of Pulsed Beam Emitters that I had er.. "Acquired" from the royal Boron armory just in case of a situation like this.
Not to mention that the ships I'll use can't use 'em. Better to have the profit now, methinks.
With that transaction made, I'm now a millionaire. Which is all nice and dandy except that some unwelcome visitors decided to play "Mass invasion".
Assets:
1x Angel "Lifesaver"
Credits: 1324002
-
EmperorJon
- Posts: 9378
- Joined: Mon, 29. Dec 08, 20:58
