Telzarian Heights. part one

[phleg]

This is a space station story based in the Black hole sun.



It was a beautiful dangerous place to live but it was also a beautiful place to live. Sean knew that the residential station was going to be a new start for him after the military life. As he hailed the station it was a human voice apart from the usual computer one, it said
' welcome to Telzarian heights sir. I hope your stay here will be enjoyed. Captain Sequil out'
Sean docked his ship to the station, it was a huge station absolutely enourmous. the walls were decorated with the finest art in all of Argon space. He stepped up to the counter and was waiting behind a beautiful Argon stewardess.
' May I help you sir?' she asked
' Umm, yeah you can I'm looking for living area 2 quarter 5' He replied
' Sean Slade I presume?'
' yeah how did you know?' he said in wonder
' We were told we were having a new resident today. If you may follow me I can guide you to your quarters.'
' Thanks, um whats was your name again?'
' Melissa banks' she said with a smile on her face

When Sean was shown his quarters he looked around in awe. The room was filled with everything he could imagine, the bed was fit for the President and the room was the same size as a large house. He went up to the info screen and found out that the station was over 6 kilometers in size. Now he started to think of his past, all of the people he had killed in the war. His head began to ache like someone had stuck a needle in his brain, everything went blurry and he felt really sick.

In the check-in Melissa was speaking to her friend sarah.
'You fancy him don't you? I could see it in the way you were looking at him.' sarah teased.
' I do not,..... well Sean does have a nice bum and his muscles were kinda big, I hope they aren't the only thing thats big on him' melissa replied.
'Hahaha. We'd better get back to work before the boss catches us play....'She was interupted by a large shake of the station and the captain's announcement.
' Will all security guards and pilots please report to their stations, We are under attack I repeat we are under attack.'
' Shit not again this happened last year but not as bad' sarah spoke

Back in his quarters Sean was unpacking his luggage when the attack began. He ran towards the outside window and could see a organic ship that looked M0 class.
'what the fu....' he was interupted by a security guard.
' Sir please come with me the station is under attck by xenon forces.' The guard said.
' Listen to me I have been in the argon military since I was 16 and I know what a xenon ship looks like and that ain't xenon!' Sean shouted to the panicking guard. ' You don't know whats going on do you? Do you?' sean shouted again.
The guards face went white with fear. A khaak warrior materialised behind Sean and was making it's way towards him. Sean heard it's footsteps jumped forwards and made it out of the way before the khaak sunks its fist deep into the guards head. Sean went for the guards gun and shot the khaak warrior right in it's left leg, It let out a deafining roar.

Back at the counter sarah and Melissa were removing debris from the check-in desk the same time robots were cleaning it up. Sarah said
' This time it's differant, last time one of those shots came at us it took time for the shields to go down but this time they went down straight away. Somethings not right I can feel it'
A large announcement went over the station speakers
' If all residents and staff may know we have come under attack. If you may please turn to the news'
Sarah and Melissa turned their screens to the news channel and looked in horror at what they saw next.

Wait for the next chapter. can you please rate this depending on how you saw it

[Mercenary]

Welcome to the storywriters world!

And a promising start! Be careful of using real peoples names though, like Melissa Banks she plays a different role within the game and there's an association there. As well as there being a real life Melissa Banks...

1st line you used the word 'beutiful' and 'to live' twice.. It would work better with just the second one in both cases... See below..

"It was a dangerous place but it was also a beautiful place to live."

And you have a contradiction, first your character Sean passes out due to some bizarre mental problem perhaps a tumor and then is unpacking...


Merc.