You know what they say about guys with incredibly small novels?!

[The Zig]

Hey people!

I'm throwing down the gauntlet!

A Challenge: semi-inspired by x-periment, I've tried to write the shortest X fan-fic I could. It's harder than It seems. I put the challenge to everyone to use this thread to write the very best *very* short fan-fic they can.

Everyone's welcome to post, the rule is: keep it under 250 words; 250 words or less, not including title.
(although no-one's likely to count so if it's only a few over...)
Point is, it's gotta be short. Mine's 200.

Come on! It'll be cool. It'll take you a few minutes!
And If you've been critical of others in the past, here's your chance to show if you can do better!!!

Everyone Welcome!
Okay... GO!


ps. What they say about guys with incredibly small novels

[The Zig]

----------------------------

Death. Always coming. Life's one Certainty.
Doesn't make it any less of a shock!

I'm in the middle of nowhere, over a sector from civilisation. Got jumped by some Xenon. Embarrassingly rookie... I could just Die(!) Looks like they've gone, but they blew up my ship first. When I ejected behind that asteroid I prayed they wouldn't spot me. They'd have wasted me for sure... Now look: 29 minutes life-support, and, at space-suit-speed, an hour-forty just to the gate. Maths, Ha! Harsh. Me... just another corpsicle. Kinda wish the Xenon had seen me.
Doesn't help I gotta fly around these damn rocks...

Huh? Waitaminute? Is that..? Inside the asteroid? A gate? Don't look like any I've ever seen. It's got a vortex though? Maybe... no, dumb idea. But just 2km... Folk it I'm dead if I head for Fune. No chance that way, least this way I've got some chance...

WHAT?! Four minutes air? Come on!
I hope space-suits survive jump-gates!?

DAMN! Where in the Hell..?
That station there's gotta be big as a moon! Looks like it's been built outta one... And what are those ships?! That blue planet..? It lookgha... aghg... guh...
...
..
.

[KiwiNZ]

The end, huh? Never imagined it'd be my time so soon. But there was little that could stop that Hornet that approached me almost leisurely. They told me not to enter Paranid space, didn't they? Ten more sezuras and it'll blow me to bits. ... 3 2 1

I had better push off before they manually detonate it or it runs out of fuel. Always wondered how much of an impact was required to set off that sort of missile. A few broken ribs don't appear to do it. Phew.

[Mauser Kar98K]

Damn!! Where did all them Khaak come from?? BOOM!!!

The End

[bladeuk]

Damn!! Where did all them Khaak come from?? BOOM!!!

The End

that was almost a mini adventure!

[The Zig]

Cool!
Punchy tales!
Never seen a story that starts with the "The end..." That's cool. And Mauser's one is painfully reminiscent of that time I first went to President's End in my shiny, new... ahem... Buster.
But dammit my story's the longest on here! Da-amn!

Hope we get more in, I'm lovin it so far.

[Mastery]

Wow, the doll in that space ship was hot, yeah...
Beep!!!
Wha, what the hell, Khaak, F*** no!
Those little b******s
Lucky i bought those two beta HEPT cheap from that Teladi who laughed a lot.
OK..ok..FIRE!
What...malfunction.
That son of a b**** Teladi
uh oh.
There getting close.
Aggggghhhhhhh.

THE END

[Guest]

(As I´m from Germany some word constellations might sound slightly 'different'.)

I bought a Buster

"Well, that´s my new ship?", John asked the Teladi.
"That´s your new ship", the Teladi answered.
"What about the laser systems?"
"There aren´t any."
"You sold me a ship without any weapons?"
"I never said the ship is armed."
"Shields?"
"None."
"You actually sold me a ship hull for the full price?"
"Well, as this shuttle has a very low weight it is very fast ... well, it will be very fast, if you buy a drive. Do you want to buy a drive?"

Never trust Teladis.

[Mauser Kar98K]

My reminded me of the "10 times the F-Word was used in history"

General Custer's came to mind, "Where did all them #$%&ing Indians come from!"

My favorite has to be the Mayor of Haroshima's "What the %$#@ was that!"

But, we can all use it in the possible futur; Like X-Universe, "Where did all them &%&#ing Khaak come from?" I.E. Mine.

The Matrix; Agents, "*^%#, It's Neo!"

[RSDark_Angel]

The star, lonely with its three circling planetary bodies. One, the furthest out, A huge gas giant, the shield. The second closest, the hive world of Prospero, teeming with life and culture. The third world. Caliban. A dead and mutated world containing no life.
The swollen and sore star sat patiently awaiting whats to come. The beings of world Prospero oblivious to the iminant destruction.

As the sun rose on the first day, the beings of Prospero stretched and began their daily tasks. By noontide, they hadn't noticed the strange reddish tint to the star that they took for granted. At sundown, the beings of Prospero retired to their beds, awaiting the next day.

On the second day. Many noticed the difference The sun was all together bigger and expanding past. This puzzled some, others rejoyced, a few went mad.

The cataclysmic chain reaction began, the star began to implode. Then it happened. The mighty plasma ball expanded outwards into her neigbouring planets. Caliban fried, melted by the expanding plasma wave that rocked through the system. Prospero fell second, the beings wiped extinct in a matter of seconds.
It hit the shield. The mighty gas giant cooked in her oewn juices and then exploded in a ball of fire that didnt meet half of the star explosion that followed. The star shattered and time seemed to stop. Then the huge fireball expanded outwards into space, spraying the distant jumpgate with radiation. The jumpgate's systems failed and the whole structure fried in a whirl of unknown power.

X Universe News, edition 457
We strongly advise any explorer's with their own M6 type craft to avoid system X7 and the unexplored system beyond as our NavSats have detected heavy sources of radiation that would surpass even the most advanced of magnetic fields.
Hak Seldon, universal events correspondant.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Managed to scrape the line there I think. 163 will I enter with that?

[The Zig]

Cool stories! More!
Just read that "10 times the f-word was appropriate" thing - the Noah one also made me laugh! (3. "Scattered f***ing showers...my ass!" - Noah) And the JFK one!
A second effort from me...
-------------------------------


“Never trust a Teladi," they say. "They only care about profit.”
It's racism.
Teladi are okay.
Take the one who sold me this cloaking shield. In Paranid space they hit you with huge taxes. By working outside Paranid space, this Teladi sold them at half the price. Half!
And before you ask... Yes, it's real! Cynic. He demonstrated by fitting his own device on my ship. You hear about it, but it's amazing to see your ship just... vanish. And no – before you ask – he didn't charge me 500K for his battered, old device; once I paid, he fitted a brand new one. Apparently, he's never had a complaint.
Out here in space you forget it's even on. No way of knowing! Everything's same as normal. It isn't like people talk much when you are visible. There's just this one little LED shows it's working... that I'm invisible.
Nice! I've never felt so... Safe. Even here, passing through Xenon space. Only down-side, it draws from the shield battery... But who needs shields – these Xenon are passing right by! In fact, that J's gonna pass too close for comfort! Strafing...
What?!? It's firing at... it can see me!? But my cloak...
That slimy, money-grabbing, little bast...

[Mastermue]

Asteroid! Wot Asteroid?
OOPS!

[Urashima Keitaro]

"Hunter Alpha six-two-zero, whats your status?"

"Still here Lewey, even though they shorted my shields on the last pass."

"Get out of there Hunter, put engines to max, and DOCK, NOW!!!"

"No can do, my engines are at max stable speed. Any faster and the cooling will overload and destroy the ship. I'd rather be vaped by Khaak than burnt to a crisp in midspace."

Hunter's Nova had seen better days. In fact, it was new once. But that was wazura ago. Luck was never my strongest point, or my greatest ally, eh marauder?

The Khaak made their turn, and creeping death was looming. "Rear turret set to engage all enemies. Lewey, I'm going evasive."

They were closing in, and Hunter started to jinx and juke around. The Khaak shot with their Kyon Beams. The first few shots missed, but they were predicting his moves as they slowly hemmed him in. The end was near.

Hunter's mind had entered altered awareness, the sign of too much adrenaline. The station was in dight, 5kms left to go. "Lewey, I'm coming in."

"Roger that, keep your speed high, engage airbrakes 100m before entering."

The hull was down to 26%, and it showed. Speed was down to 53ms, nope, now 52. The rear weapons were doing damage to some Khaak, but not enough to kill. "Brace yourself for impact Lewey, I'm gonna come in a bit hot. My airbrakes have been fried."

"Doors are open, wipe your feet."

Suddenly, one of the Khaak weapons pierced the cockpit, and the lights went out. Without remorse, the Khaak sent off some missiles, which did the job, and destroyed the ship.

From 50m outside the cockpit Hunter swore revenge. You bastards will pay. Your asses will be mine.

[Mauser Kar98K]

"Oops!" BOOM!

The End

Urashima Keitaro: Great short man (or woman)

[Urashima Keitaro]

"Oops!" BOOM!

The End

Urashima Keitaro: Great short man (or woman)

Hey, thanks mate, not too shabby for a clutz eh?

[Merroc]

(more like a short poem but who cares )



Space .... suit?!



You may all go interpret it nicely . Shortest so far i think, if you count Mauser's "The End"

[Mauser Kar98K]

OK fine, shortest...


Boom!

[(/\)arped]

The sun reflected brightly off the Paranid Solar Power Plant, it's solar panels acting like little mirrors, more than enough to blind even a Split.

Scott Fera looked away from the gleaming sight, and was looking frantically for the docking port to the SPP. He had no intention in buying any energy cells, or in selling any crystals. But in his TS, he held an experimental weapon, based on Khaak technology, that could turn the tables on the Khaak, who had been all-to-successful in their raids on the inhabitants of the X universe.

Although the military had considered giving Scott a duel corvette escort, they had decided against it, because it would "attract too much attention."

They could at least have given him a faster ship instead.

Naturally, pirates had gotten hold of some intel regarding this new weapon, and were eager to capture it for profit... And now they were all too close behind Scott.

"Release your cargo Argon, or die!" A Split pirate hissed down the comms, shaking Scott to the bone.

He didn't reply, instead he opened up comms with the SPP.
"Please, give me some fight assistance! I've got a group of pirates on me! And please let me dock!"

The Paranid was not best pleased.

"Hmm... The Priest Duke decides that you should be left to rot, unreligious fool!"

The pirates opened fire, destroying the shields and then into the hull. They passed straight into the cockpit, immediately depressurizing the entire ship. Scott was killed, the ship, a floating wreck.

Now, the only weapon in the known X universe that could hold back the Khaak threat...

Was in the hands of a pirate.



Might be a little too long... And I just threw this together in about 20 mins lol, so not that great.

[The Zig]

Was thinking I might add the shortest story yet...
------------
D'oh!
------------
Bit of an hommage to the Simpsons... maybe the title could be 'Homer's Odyssey... through a Xenon Sector!'

Nice story, Jack!
(One small possible edit, was it a paranid station? Cos the first line says Argon)
Anyway, liked it. And an Argon reply to the Xenon beam gun would be very cool!

[Merroc]

sjees... if you want to go that route, I have a single pixel column one..:


i



Cant go much shorter, now can you (oh and if someone complains about that i should be a capital letter, think again. Freedom of writing or whatever its called ).


PS, imo these 3 one word "novels" are pants.