'Of Future Heroism' - Pt.5 Blood, Rage And Betrayal

[silentWitness]

'Of Future Heroism' - Pt.5 - Blood, Rage And Betrayal

Her eyes had burned into me... finding every inconsistency, every scrap of Argon and somehow found it offensive... my first meeting with a split female had left me worried about what I might become... could I really become so cold and manipulative... Was it genetic??? My father said that I had made a good impression, that few of his offspring satisfied her tastes... I asked him how many wives he had but didn't get a definitive answer... Although my mother was ranked as a lover rather than as a wife or concubine... I still haven't decided if this is particularly good or not... My Paranid schooling had prepared me for extended families... Paranid are 'allocated' children... there is always the Helammus (Priestfather), Allammus (Preistmother), and Chellian (there's no direct Argon translation but it means "One of whom heart beats thrice, towards the third eye"... the third eye is of course a metaphor for the highest ranking member in the holy three dimensionality... Although the Chellian also seems to by the most loving parent). Compared to the Paranid, Split childcare is a chaotic... No! Make that psychotic affair! But when you're patriarch of all split and have an empire at your beck and call, childcare is not a pressing issue...

Several Mazutra later my father sent me a rushed communiqué saying that I'm going to have a female visitor... I dreaded her arrival throughout the Tazura... What cruel and unusual punishment would this woman have for me??? Why did my father's voice sound so... sarcastic... Yes definitely sarcastic!!!

She wasn't as bad as I thought... A youthful Split girl, (about the same age as me... maybe a little younger) entered quietly... I wouldn't have noticed her if the bed hadn't squeaked as she catapulted herself onto it... Her clothes lay haphazardly over her... I couldn't help but admire her long smooth legs... "Kentcha orhe sjhen shjrjre..." she seductively crowed, sliding her dress a little further up her thigh, making my blush... It became obvious that her knowledge of the Argon language was nonexistent and her Paranid wasn't much better than my Split... so communication was almost impossible but one thing was obvious... she was a tease... Her name was t'Chi'zaia... My fathers second child... the daughter of a concubine and it showed... her flamboyant personality was enough to make any man drop his pants... but beneath that vaporous exterior there was a obviously a shrude mind at work... I slept in another room that night in hope of reclaiming my stuff in the morning...

It was morning... I had the nightmare again... the one where I'm running and the corridors never end... I was slippery with sweat... The room I had chosen was smaller than the last one... but everything was compact and quite comfortable... The bath room consisted of a small shower cubical and nothing else... which kind of surprised me... I decided to take shower... I turned the control valve but no water came out... I called to one of the guards to turn it... the guard strolled in to my rescue... he gave it a turn... nothing happened... he tried harder... he cussed the valve... suddenly he launched into a psychotic hand to hand attack on the valve breaking it off... a little water leaked from the valve... he smiled in victory and handed me the horribly bent and twisted valve... There was nothing for it...

I quietly sneaked into my former room... looking around to see if t'Chi'zaia was around but it was quiet... relieved I quickly rushed into the bathroom... I turned the valve and a jet of hot water hit me... I squeaked and quickly turned the temperature down... the water was comforting... washing away the anxiety, the pain... making me feel normal...

I heard a little gasp... I turned to find t'Chi'zaia standing naked behind me... My eyes almost burst out of my head... for a moment I didn't know what to think... I was transfixed... she was so exotic... so different... she looked so... beautiful. Suddenly I came to my senses... I hurriedly reached to cover myself with a towel but she grabbed my wrist... "Ennkie" (It's alright)... I let go of the towel... Suddenly she was embracing me... the feeling of her skin touching mine overwhelmed me... no one had touched me so completely... not even my real mother... Suddenly she pinched me!!! "Ouch!" I jumped... Chi'zaia laughed... I assumed she said... it's not plight to stare...

That night I dreamt... intoxicating dreams... so erotic... frighteningly different to everything else I had ever dreamt... I awoke feeling content... I heard a little snort... I turned my head to reveal a mini nightmare... t'Chi'zaia was curled up next to me... had it been a dream?!? I was glad to receive a message from my father...

As I entered Patriarchs Retreat, the first thing that presented itself was several huge destroyers much larger than the Raptor... we docked with the trading station then it was down to the planet to meet with my father...

As I entered my fathers personal 'office' a huge hall filled with treasures and trinkets from all over the known universe... I saw him at a huge desk... I give a little cough... he looks up... "Ahhh! Tikirin!!!" He spoke to me in Paranid "It's nice to see you" his arms felt warm and inviting... "There's something worrying you..." How could he know... I could feel the embarrassment building inside... I considered lying but felt the need to ask him "Father... I have something to tell you... it's about Chi'zaia... I think..." My father laughed... "It's totally natural... all split women pear up..." his words made me gasp "Do you mean..." the look on my fact made him burst into laughter... "Yes! And I always thought the two of you would make a perfect couple..." I was speechless... part of me was relieved... "Is that why you've been all awkward since arriving???" I nodded "You know there's more split in you than you think... trust your instincts..." "When did this start in split society???" My father smiled... "Two strong female are likely to be able to protect their young far better than just one..." I sort of understood... atleast enough.

"Now... I have something important to tell you...." I looked up from my thoughts "What?" "Well you may not realise but we Split are fighting a Civil war... Things don't go well for us Chin..." for the second time he had shocked me with his candidness honesty... "I want to give you something important... something I know might help you in the future if I can't be there" I felt distraught "But father..." "No I won't have you persuading me otherwise! Besides I wouldn't trust anyone else with this... I want you to go visit relatives in family Ryk..." He thrust a little majiglit datadisk into my hand, it's design was Paranid... old... impossible to read outside of Paranid space... and even then not without special equipment... I held the data disk to my heart... what would my father entrust me that he felt it was only safe in my hands...

As I boarded the carrier I felt my heart sink...

Ryk territory was out of the way... far too out of the way for my taste... Chi'zaia comforted me... it was strange... every now and then she would squeak a few words in Paranid... and it would surprise me... I caught her secretly learning Paranid... her wish to communicate with me seems to grow every day... Family Ryk were quiet... they rarely talked between themselves let alone to us... Oh! Chi'zaia is teaching me to fly!!! She's a good teacher... if a little crazy!!! The Split Scorpion is a nimble ship... she would fly us inside the asteroids... all the while Chi'zaia would scream out Paranid words at random!!! Finally she had allowed me to take the ship through the asteroids by myself... I felt a little self conscious as I exited the landing bay of the raptor... I hoped not to have a repeat of the landing bay incident in Kingdom End...

The asteroid was 1000m away... 500... 100... the forward lights automatically switched on... the tunnel walls seemed to get closer... we were hurtling into the bowels of this huge asteroid at maximum speed... suddenly there was a loud explosion!!! I immediately stopped the ship... Chi'zaia screamed words at me "Soybean, Pegasus, Goner!!!" I slipped into my space suit and we changed positions... I looked around to see what I had hit... I couldn't see what was damaged... we slipped out of the asteroid an into a battlefield... wreckage lay struned about... several destroyers were rampaging through the system... tearing through the Ryk defenders... there was little we could do but try and escape...

We headed for the West gate hoping that the Njy wouldn't see us... We strafed and bucked to avoid Njy fighters as they flew out of the gate... As we flew out the other end there was a Njy raptor waiting... the moment I felt the scan I knew we were sunk... the message came over the comm... "Split say, Surrender or die!"... there was only one option...

[silentWitness]

I called upon quite a few personal experiences to write this part so no "Oh you're one sick bitch" comments...

[GoateeCat]

Culture, culture, Mu Fkin CULTURE!!

It has been sorely missing. I love your vision, I love the sense of them.

A bit hard to figure out the sequence of events at the end there. Are you trying for a style using a series of short references to thoughts and experiences as things occur? Thats what it felt like, as if in a dream.

[silentWitness]

The end is the attack... Tikirin doesn't have time to take anything in... she's rushed from one event to another...

I tred to make the writing reflect that!!!

[Storm_Front]

More More More

[GoateeCat]

The end is the attack... Tikirin doesn't have time to take anything in... she's rushed from one event to another...

I tred to make the writing reflect that!!!

Sorry, i should have been more precise. From:

"As I boarded the carrier I felt my heart sink... "

To passing through the West jump gate. Took a couple of reads to get straight what was going on is all.

[Mercenary]

I called upon quite a few personal experiences to write this part so no "Oh you're one sick bitch" comments...

Yeah, bumping into things whilst flying through an asteroid is a real pain...

Another good read. I was a little confused by the overall time frame at the end and I'm looking forward to the next installment.


A small number of minor typos:
"we slipped out of the asteroid an into a battlefield" .. 'and' instead of 'an'
"wreckage lay struned about" - strewn

[KiwiNZ]

Very interesting read. Looks like her family is going down in the fight with Njy. I guess their only option is to run. Surrender will most definitely result in death so might as well take a chance.

This turn of events throws the general development decently off track. I look forward to the next installment.

Like the others have commented already, the ending appears a bit rushed. Possibly all it needs is a sector name, for where they go after leaving her father.

[silentWitness]

Family Njy are attacking Family Ryk... the system will later be renamed Njy's Deception...

As for the end... that was when I discovered that I needed to be at work in twp hours and hadn't slept all night... I think I'm entitled to fall appart!!!

Did you notice I left out betrayal... there's a reason for that... It'll feature in the next part...

I'm not particularly good at writing space violence... So I'm trying my best to keep those parts short... but the next part contains quite a bit of violence... Hang on to you're hat babes... I'm about to take you on a wild ride through yet another culture trip!!!

[GoateeCat]

As for the end... that was when I discovered that I needed to be at work in twp hours and hadn't slept all night... I think I'm entitled to fall appart!!!

Thats more than fair enough. You obviously know what your doing. Please dont take it as a hassle, its all constructive critique.

I think the people qualified to offer constructive criticism have spoken, take our energy positively and empower yourself with it, come back stronger and more glorious than ever.

I find that people dont like to critic my stuff, it's infuriating. I can never improve or innovate because of it. I do it to others in the hopes of getting it back.

Ever Onwards!!

[silentWitness]

You obviously know what your doing.

What gave you that idea???

[FourFingers]

wow..

its cool. I like the flow rate, its like riding a rollercoaster, (the giant mu'fks you get in florida not the pidly ones at chesington!) full on adrenalin rush with no slow bits.

Am looking at split 'ladies' with renewed interest now..

Bring on the bloody aftermath!!