Chapter one of my story shall be posted around 1200 hours GMT I hope everyone is excited about this!
First the disclaimer;
This story is written by me, MGA and therefore my property but, you may use it, reproduce, duplicate
or even make money from it, just ask for my permission via PM or email. You want to put this story in your site? Fine by me, all you need to do is request my permission for where you want to use it and put my name on it.
This story has been rated PG as it does contain mild language and alcohol abuse, if anyone could tell me how these rating systems work then I would be greately appreciated.
End Disclaimer.
Enjoy!
The Man who... - Chapter 1
Moderators: TheElf, Moderators for English X Forum
The Man who... - Chapter 1
Last edited by MGA on Fri, 1. Apr 05, 20:03, edited 2 times in total.
A new rig is in my hands now if only there was time...
The Man who…
By MGA
Chapter 1...................................................................................................The awakening…
It was a summer’s day, in the rural hills on Argon Prime. Only an Argon Family consisting of two adults a child and a domestic robot were on the shallower slopes enjoying a picnic in the sunshine. The Father, Carter Malan aged twenty-five with a height of 175cm was admiring the view of the rolling hills and the rocky mountains. His wife Rona, was keeping an eye on their son, playing catch with the robot, known as Alfred. Telling him to be careful, as an accident here a few woruras ago with one family involving Argnu Cattle and a dog resulted in the killing of the dog and the near death of the child. The one reason why the area is quiet! Alfred’s design was based on a Lego Bionicle model and modified for the Paranaid market. His stature was human with a height of 190cm, but he has three legs and three eyes, the latter feature allows him to talk to the Paranaid without being seen as un-holy.
Carter took a quick glimpse of Rona, she seem more beautiful to him every tazura. This is rather unusual as she looks like no other Argon imaginable.
Dark and mysterious, her most distinguishing features are her purple hair and eyes, pale grey skin, dark clothes and a rather short height of 140cm. Many people used to stop and bluntly ask her what she is thinking dyeing her hair and her face those colours, others not notice her as she is accidentally pushed to the ground because people don’t see her and no-one talks to her for long as her dark looks stir fear inside them. Unknown to them it hurts her badly as she was born this way.
Recently she ran away to the Teladi system of Bad Debt and rented a room at the Trading station there hoping never to be seen again. However four mazuras after her arrival, Carter happened to be visiting a bar on the Trading station in Bad Debt. One of his favourite places to visit as it is relatively quiet. Also the price of drinks in bars is low enough to be considered a joke as the owner is desperate to shift them because the Teladi working in this system don’t earn enough to pay for them! Carter, after paying for a mocha coffee began searching for somewhere to sit. Which was pointless as the Teladi, “Sitting-Banks,” are of no use to him. Despite the quality of Teladi stations are now improving with the addition of furniture that other races like, this one can’t afford upgrades like that, not that that matters as Carter carries a Camping chair with him.
Carter checks his watch and notes the time as 2330. He then noticed out of the corner of his eye from a short distance away a depressed Argon woman in her early twenties, wearing an indigo hooded cloak and black dress. She was struggling to stay balanced on the sitting bank she was on. The table next to her with a diameter he guessed at 1m had no spaces for empty pint glasses, as it was covered completely in them! Suddenly, she flinches. Then she got up and ran to the toilet clutching her mouth with both hands. This woman was Rona. Asking the Teladi barman who served him, who that person was, the barman replied to Carter with a speech like Yoda from Star Wars, his accent is typically Teladi.
“Strange this one is finds Teladi, a room on this station for 4 months she has rented,”
Carter replied, “Good your impression of Yoda is,” His voice is mild American/English,
“My thanks you receive, hmmm…,” the Teladi Replies,
There is a short pause, after that Carter begins a mild laugh, the Teladi’s limp ridge erecting accordingly as a sign of amusement for the Teladi. This is short lived however as there is then the sound of someone being violently sick; Carter’s face forms a worried frown and the Teladi’s limp ridge de-erects, followed by his scale plate paling. “Surely she needs help?” Asks Carter as the barman prepares a trolley to collect the empty glasses left by Rona,
“Well of course,” the Teladi replies, “Teladi do care about more than just profitsss, but she just doesn’t respond to us, oh she pays her rent and her drinks, but it does worry us. Last night she was like this drinking away, I was serving her third order then two Argons; male and female ask her what’s wrong. She lowers her hood; the couple make comments about her looks and before you know it she’s off back to her room. Although Security Officers have to help her back as she can’t walk well after how much she has had,” the barman lets out a faint sigh then continues while pushing the trolley towards the table Rona was sitting at, Carter follows, coffee in hand taking the occasional sip, “Teladi wishes she was gone as customers are disappearing, but can’t find it in their hearts to get rid of her. We try many times to ask her but she will not let on no matter how hard we try, by word or force.”
After the barman reaches the table he begins the task of moving the glasses onto the trolley, Carter politely offers to help, but the Teladi says it isn’t necessary as that’s what he is paid for.
“Well,” Carter proclaims as the barman finishes his task, “I shall talk to her, but before you become excited. I mainly would like to help her for her if you know what I mean. By the way do you know what coffee she takes?”
“If it means you can make her get off this station then Teladi wishes you the best of luck and profit,” the barman replied, “Iced mocha she seems to prefer, shall I prepare one?”
“Bring it over here if you would please, thank you,” Replied Carter, sitting down on the bank, “Here’s my card,”
As the barman places Carter’s card in a portable reader he begins to key in the order. Just then Carter’s watch begins to ring; pressing a button on the watch reveals a holographic figure recognizable as Alfred,
“Master,” Alfred said excitedly, his voice was indistinguishable from that of Sean Connery, “I’ve just read the bulletins as you requested, someone wants a delivery shipped, the ship class is right as is cargo space and jump range with your Mercury. The pay is lousy though shall I take it?”
“Make it so Alfred, report back, doing another courier mission preferably and don’t criticize the members of Bad Debt, they need all the money they can get,” Replied Carter.
“I understand master, but why is this necessary? It’s only a few thousand credits.”
“Must I go through my policy of helping those in need again?”
“Very well, end transmission,”
At that point the barman has served the second coffee, “If only there were more people like you on our home planet,” He says to Carter proudly.
“Your words are highly commendable,” Replied Carter,
Rona makes her approach back to the table she was sitting at. She is struggling to keep her balance; she sits down in the same place ignoring Carter, who can make out her bloodshot, tired eyes under her hood.
“Booze Jockey,” says Rona, her accent is American, but it seems bored and course, “Five more pints of the usual,”
“Teladi believes you’ve had enough,” the barman says, “Why don’t you talk to that Argon? He seems concerned about you?”
Facing the barman, Rona replies angrily, “Five more pints of the usual,” the barman and Carter exchange puzzled looks,
“Oh,” the barmen exclaims, “Shifts over, must go,” he gives Carter a wink, Carter winks back, just as Rona looks at him, Carter tries to cover up by rubbing his eye, the barman leaves, breathing a sigh of relief.
“What the hell do you want?!” Asks Rona,
“To talk to you,” replied Carter, pausing to take a sip of his coffee, “it is quite lonely with just me my fleet of ships and my robot-co pilot,”
“Well you are wasting your time!” Rona shouts at him getting up. She continues, “Why must you worry about some irrelevant, disgusting freak like me? I am a disease to everything that lives.” Rona leans her head closer to Carter; he can almost taste the smell alcohol in her breath. “Why don’t you go and find some woman every man dreams of?” Rona says to him in a lower tone of voice, “You know what I mean right? The ones with hair that’s long and blonde. Looks to die for and no intelligence. Just simple minded fools that do chores for men all day and couldn’t care less.” Striding off in a huff she makes her way out. Unfortunately after having too much to drink she struggles to keep her balance, after managing only a few steps trips on the floor she falls forwards. Carter puts his coffee on the table and walks towards her; he can make out some faint crying. While helping her up he quotes,
“Well it is a shame; after all I did buy this iced mocha coffee for you,”
Those words grab Rona’s attention,
“For me?” she asks, “For hideous me?”
“You can’t look that bad love?” says Carter encouragingly, “Lets take a look at you, come on. I’m a little more understanding than most”
Rona reluctantly removes her hood, bowing her head and closing her eyes as she does so, her skin was pale grey, her hair purple and as she raised her head her purple bloodshot eyes come into view as they opened.
“Hmm,” said Carter with a sceptic look, “You resemble a cute anime character.”
Rona gives Carter a puzzled look.
“Who has not slept in tazuras and needs to chill dude,” Carter says with a hippy voice.
Rona, not feeling mad anymore begins to sit down,
“Oh, don’t sit on that uncomfortable block,” Carter proclaims, taking out his camping chair and unfolding it, “Here,” he places it down.
Rona sits down on it almost falling asleep, it is more comfortable than anything else and one would think so too after nothing but banks and sitting-blocks for four mazuras!
She begins telling Carter about her past, how foul it was and why she came here. Carter took pity in her and as soon as Alfred returned, took her to his home in Omicron Lyrae in the hope she could rebuild her life.
Five jazuras have passed and now they are married with a son and respectable jobs in the Argon Federation. Carter works as an Engineer in the Federal Argon Warf of Omicron Lyrae, Rona at the Rimes Fact also in Omicron Lyrae. Their friends believe that they should switch their jobs; as Carter has good skills with making and repairing clothes made from cloth rimes and Rona once built in one unattended wozura, a single Argon ship from class M3 to M5 and TS. Despite these claims, neither of them seemed to bother as their current jobs are enjoyable anyway.
Their managers recently gave them paid leave for the summer as they had been working so well. Carter bought a Manta to allow for a camping trip bound for Argon prime. “Life seems perfect, what could possible go wrong,” Carter thinks to himself.
All of a sudden he is grabbed by Alfred whose eyes are glowing red, “You fool!” he shouts at Carter, “Only a simpleton would fall for this kind of Dream.”
Carter watched in horror as the lush scenery evaporated around him, a loud ringing noise followed. He wakes up from bed shutting off his alarm clock and examines his untidy room. He is the man who dreams, of a family he may never have.
By MGA
Chapter 1...................................................................................................The awakening…
It was a summer’s day, in the rural hills on Argon Prime. Only an Argon Family consisting of two adults a child and a domestic robot were on the shallower slopes enjoying a picnic in the sunshine. The Father, Carter Malan aged twenty-five with a height of 175cm was admiring the view of the rolling hills and the rocky mountains. His wife Rona, was keeping an eye on their son, playing catch with the robot, known as Alfred. Telling him to be careful, as an accident here a few woruras ago with one family involving Argnu Cattle and a dog resulted in the killing of the dog and the near death of the child. The one reason why the area is quiet! Alfred’s design was based on a Lego Bionicle model and modified for the Paranaid market. His stature was human with a height of 190cm, but he has three legs and three eyes, the latter feature allows him to talk to the Paranaid without being seen as un-holy.
Carter took a quick glimpse of Rona, she seem more beautiful to him every tazura. This is rather unusual as she looks like no other Argon imaginable.
Dark and mysterious, her most distinguishing features are her purple hair and eyes, pale grey skin, dark clothes and a rather short height of 140cm. Many people used to stop and bluntly ask her what she is thinking dyeing her hair and her face those colours, others not notice her as she is accidentally pushed to the ground because people don’t see her and no-one talks to her for long as her dark looks stir fear inside them. Unknown to them it hurts her badly as she was born this way.
Recently she ran away to the Teladi system of Bad Debt and rented a room at the Trading station there hoping never to be seen again. However four mazuras after her arrival, Carter happened to be visiting a bar on the Trading station in Bad Debt. One of his favourite places to visit as it is relatively quiet. Also the price of drinks in bars is low enough to be considered a joke as the owner is desperate to shift them because the Teladi working in this system don’t earn enough to pay for them! Carter, after paying for a mocha coffee began searching for somewhere to sit. Which was pointless as the Teladi, “Sitting-Banks,” are of no use to him. Despite the quality of Teladi stations are now improving with the addition of furniture that other races like, this one can’t afford upgrades like that, not that that matters as Carter carries a Camping chair with him.
Carter checks his watch and notes the time as 2330. He then noticed out of the corner of his eye from a short distance away a depressed Argon woman in her early twenties, wearing an indigo hooded cloak and black dress. She was struggling to stay balanced on the sitting bank she was on. The table next to her with a diameter he guessed at 1m had no spaces for empty pint glasses, as it was covered completely in them! Suddenly, she flinches. Then she got up and ran to the toilet clutching her mouth with both hands. This woman was Rona. Asking the Teladi barman who served him, who that person was, the barman replied to Carter with a speech like Yoda from Star Wars, his accent is typically Teladi.
“Strange this one is finds Teladi, a room on this station for 4 months she has rented,”
Carter replied, “Good your impression of Yoda is,” His voice is mild American/English,
“My thanks you receive, hmmm…,” the Teladi Replies,
There is a short pause, after that Carter begins a mild laugh, the Teladi’s limp ridge erecting accordingly as a sign of amusement for the Teladi. This is short lived however as there is then the sound of someone being violently sick; Carter’s face forms a worried frown and the Teladi’s limp ridge de-erects, followed by his scale plate paling. “Surely she needs help?” Asks Carter as the barman prepares a trolley to collect the empty glasses left by Rona,
“Well of course,” the Teladi replies, “Teladi do care about more than just profitsss, but she just doesn’t respond to us, oh she pays her rent and her drinks, but it does worry us. Last night she was like this drinking away, I was serving her third order then two Argons; male and female ask her what’s wrong. She lowers her hood; the couple make comments about her looks and before you know it she’s off back to her room. Although Security Officers have to help her back as she can’t walk well after how much she has had,” the barman lets out a faint sigh then continues while pushing the trolley towards the table Rona was sitting at, Carter follows, coffee in hand taking the occasional sip, “Teladi wishes she was gone as customers are disappearing, but can’t find it in their hearts to get rid of her. We try many times to ask her but she will not let on no matter how hard we try, by word or force.”
After the barman reaches the table he begins the task of moving the glasses onto the trolley, Carter politely offers to help, but the Teladi says it isn’t necessary as that’s what he is paid for.
“Well,” Carter proclaims as the barman finishes his task, “I shall talk to her, but before you become excited. I mainly would like to help her for her if you know what I mean. By the way do you know what coffee she takes?”
“If it means you can make her get off this station then Teladi wishes you the best of luck and profit,” the barman replied, “Iced mocha she seems to prefer, shall I prepare one?”
“Bring it over here if you would please, thank you,” Replied Carter, sitting down on the bank, “Here’s my card,”
As the barman places Carter’s card in a portable reader he begins to key in the order. Just then Carter’s watch begins to ring; pressing a button on the watch reveals a holographic figure recognizable as Alfred,
“Master,” Alfred said excitedly, his voice was indistinguishable from that of Sean Connery, “I’ve just read the bulletins as you requested, someone wants a delivery shipped, the ship class is right as is cargo space and jump range with your Mercury. The pay is lousy though shall I take it?”
“Make it so Alfred, report back, doing another courier mission preferably and don’t criticize the members of Bad Debt, they need all the money they can get,” Replied Carter.
“I understand master, but why is this necessary? It’s only a few thousand credits.”
“Must I go through my policy of helping those in need again?”
“Very well, end transmission,”
At that point the barman has served the second coffee, “If only there were more people like you on our home planet,” He says to Carter proudly.
“Your words are highly commendable,” Replied Carter,
Rona makes her approach back to the table she was sitting at. She is struggling to keep her balance; she sits down in the same place ignoring Carter, who can make out her bloodshot, tired eyes under her hood.
“Booze Jockey,” says Rona, her accent is American, but it seems bored and course, “Five more pints of the usual,”
“Teladi believes you’ve had enough,” the barman says, “Why don’t you talk to that Argon? He seems concerned about you?”
Facing the barman, Rona replies angrily, “Five more pints of the usual,” the barman and Carter exchange puzzled looks,
“Oh,” the barmen exclaims, “Shifts over, must go,” he gives Carter a wink, Carter winks back, just as Rona looks at him, Carter tries to cover up by rubbing his eye, the barman leaves, breathing a sigh of relief.
“What the hell do you want?!” Asks Rona,
“To talk to you,” replied Carter, pausing to take a sip of his coffee, “it is quite lonely with just me my fleet of ships and my robot-co pilot,”
“Well you are wasting your time!” Rona shouts at him getting up. She continues, “Why must you worry about some irrelevant, disgusting freak like me? I am a disease to everything that lives.” Rona leans her head closer to Carter; he can almost taste the smell alcohol in her breath. “Why don’t you go and find some woman every man dreams of?” Rona says to him in a lower tone of voice, “You know what I mean right? The ones with hair that’s long and blonde. Looks to die for and no intelligence. Just simple minded fools that do chores for men all day and couldn’t care less.” Striding off in a huff she makes her way out. Unfortunately after having too much to drink she struggles to keep her balance, after managing only a few steps trips on the floor she falls forwards. Carter puts his coffee on the table and walks towards her; he can make out some faint crying. While helping her up he quotes,
“Well it is a shame; after all I did buy this iced mocha coffee for you,”
Those words grab Rona’s attention,
“For me?” she asks, “For hideous me?”
“You can’t look that bad love?” says Carter encouragingly, “Lets take a look at you, come on. I’m a little more understanding than most”
Rona reluctantly removes her hood, bowing her head and closing her eyes as she does so, her skin was pale grey, her hair purple and as she raised her head her purple bloodshot eyes come into view as they opened.
“Hmm,” said Carter with a sceptic look, “You resemble a cute anime character.”
Rona gives Carter a puzzled look.
“Who has not slept in tazuras and needs to chill dude,” Carter says with a hippy voice.
Rona, not feeling mad anymore begins to sit down,
“Oh, don’t sit on that uncomfortable block,” Carter proclaims, taking out his camping chair and unfolding it, “Here,” he places it down.
Rona sits down on it almost falling asleep, it is more comfortable than anything else and one would think so too after nothing but banks and sitting-blocks for four mazuras!
She begins telling Carter about her past, how foul it was and why she came here. Carter took pity in her and as soon as Alfred returned, took her to his home in Omicron Lyrae in the hope she could rebuild her life.
Five jazuras have passed and now they are married with a son and respectable jobs in the Argon Federation. Carter works as an Engineer in the Federal Argon Warf of Omicron Lyrae, Rona at the Rimes Fact also in Omicron Lyrae. Their friends believe that they should switch their jobs; as Carter has good skills with making and repairing clothes made from cloth rimes and Rona once built in one unattended wozura, a single Argon ship from class M3 to M5 and TS. Despite these claims, neither of them seemed to bother as their current jobs are enjoyable anyway.
Their managers recently gave them paid leave for the summer as they had been working so well. Carter bought a Manta to allow for a camping trip bound for Argon prime. “Life seems perfect, what could possible go wrong,” Carter thinks to himself.
All of a sudden he is grabbed by Alfred whose eyes are glowing red, “You fool!” he shouts at Carter, “Only a simpleton would fall for this kind of Dream.”
Carter watched in horror as the lush scenery evaporated around him, a loud ringing noise followed. He wakes up from bed shutting off his alarm clock and examines his untidy room. He is the man who dreams, of a family he may never have.
Last edited by MGA on Sat, 23. Apr 05, 11:28, edited 6 times in total.
A new rig is in my hands now if only there was time...
-
Urashima Keitaro
- Posts: 1247
- Joined: Thu, 21. Oct 04, 11:25
hehe first time I seen a disclaimer on here 
Anyway not a bad chapter. I hope you dont take this offensively but you put in a lot of information here all in 1 shove
It was a summer’s day, in the rural hills on Argon Prime, an Argon Family were enjoying a picnic in the sunshine on the shallower slopes. Carter Malan looked up, admiring the view of the rolling hills and the Rocky Mountains around.
“Carter.. Can you please pass me some cahoona sandwiches” said his wife.
He took a quick glimpse of Rona, she seem more beautiful to him every day, which is rather unusual to many as she looks like no other Argon imaginable.
“Ok honey, what do you want?? argnu or tofu cahoona??”
Her looks made her seem Dark and mysterious. With here purple hair and eyes that had no depth.
“err.. You pick”
“Argnu it is… you know while we are here you could try and get a little sunta..”
He noticed that she was hurt badly with them words. Unknown to him when she use to go to town she got stopped regally on the streets by other people bluntly saying she should dye her hair and get a tan as for them her dark looks stir fear inside them. But unknown to them no mater how many time she tried she cannot change, she was born this way.
“I sorry...”
“No it fine. Now give me that sandwiches.”
He could tell she was easily distracted keeping an eye on their young son,
“Son, be careful out there playing catch with the Alfred, stay away from the Argnu Cattle ok. We don't want an accident here replicating last weeks. the boy nearly died, his dog did. That’s one reason why the area is quiet!”
Alfred was the name of our robot, based on the Lego’s human Bionicle model, and a rather tall one at that at the hight of 190cm, it towed over Carter and Rona both of which were a respectable 170 and 140cm high. However the robot was made for the Paranid market with his three legs and three eyes, but luckily his features allow him to talk in Argon. He also to talk with the Paranid without being seen as un-holy as other races would be so is very handy at times.
Also as another tip dont make a chapter too long keep each one to a max of around 3-4 thousand words as too many will get people distracted and will just drop off reading it
Anyway not a bad chapter. I hope you dont take this offensively but you put in a lot of information here all in 1 shove
I would writing it so it would be like soIt was a summer’s day, in the rural hills on Argon Prime, only an Argon Family consisting of two adults a child and a domestic robot were on the shallower slopes enjoying a picnic in the sunshine. The Father, Carter Malan aged twenty-five with a height of 175cm was admiring the view of the rolling hills and the rocky mountains, his wife Rona, was keeping an eye on their son, playing catch with the robot, known as Alfred, telling him to be careful, as an accident here a few weeks ago with one family involving Argnu Cattle and a dog resulted in the killing of the dog and the near death of the child. The one reason why the area is quiet! Alfred’s design was based on a Lego Bionicle model, his stature was human with a height of 190cm, but he has three legs and three eyes, the latter feature allows him to talk to the Paranaid without being seen as un-holy.
Carter took a quick glimpse of Rona, she seem more beautiful to him every day, which is rather unusual to many as she looks like no other Argon imaginable.
Dark and mysterious, her most distinguishing features are her purple hair and eyes, pale grey skin, dark clothes and a rather short height of 140cm. Many people used to stop and ask her what she is thinking dyeing her hair and her face those colours, others not notice her as she is accidentally pushed to the ground because people don’t see her and no-one talks to her with more than ten words as her dark looks stir fear inside them. Unknown to them it hurts her badly as she was born this way.
It was a summer’s day, in the rural hills on Argon Prime, an Argon Family were enjoying a picnic in the sunshine on the shallower slopes. Carter Malan looked up, admiring the view of the rolling hills and the Rocky Mountains around.
“Carter.. Can you please pass me some cahoona sandwiches” said his wife.
He took a quick glimpse of Rona, she seem more beautiful to him every day, which is rather unusual to many as she looks like no other Argon imaginable.
“Ok honey, what do you want?? argnu or tofu cahoona??”
Her looks made her seem Dark and mysterious. With here purple hair and eyes that had no depth.
“err.. You pick”
“Argnu it is… you know while we are here you could try and get a little sunta..”
He noticed that she was hurt badly with them words. Unknown to him when she use to go to town she got stopped regally on the streets by other people bluntly saying she should dye her hair and get a tan as for them her dark looks stir fear inside them. But unknown to them no mater how many time she tried she cannot change, she was born this way.
“I sorry...”
“No it fine. Now give me that sandwiches.”
He could tell she was easily distracted keeping an eye on their young son,
“Son, be careful out there playing catch with the Alfred, stay away from the Argnu Cattle ok. We don't want an accident here replicating last weeks. the boy nearly died, his dog did. That’s one reason why the area is quiet!”
Alfred was the name of our robot, based on the Lego’s human Bionicle model, and a rather tall one at that at the hight of 190cm, it towed over Carter and Rona both of which were a respectable 170 and 140cm high. However the robot was made for the Paranid market with his three legs and three eyes, but luckily his features allow him to talk in Argon. He also to talk with the Paranid without being seen as un-holy as other races would be so is very handy at times.
Also as another tip dont make a chapter too long keep each one to a max of around 3-4 thousand words as too many will get people distracted and will just drop off reading it
