Dear all,
Here is the first chapter of "A time for Heroes." I have delayed posting it, because I wanted to be clear in myself where things fit. This is the first chapter of "part one", which begins to introduce Graaf's origins and how he becomes a bounty hunter. In this early period, Graaf is known by his first name, Eli, I am trying right now to ensure that the transition to Graaf is smooth.
I hope you enjoy, I promise that it will develop into more action as the story progresses.
GG
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introduction,
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Chapter 1 - An unexpected gift.
-Twenty Six jazuras ago -
A roar of engines filled a small private hanger within the Argon Trading Station, which dominated the sector of Antigone Memorial. Inside the hanger were two top of the range civilian model Argon Discoverer scouts. It was clear from the noise that the wealthy owners had ensured the craft had full engine upgrades. The engines cut out abruptly after a final loud rev leaving the hanger silent for a brief moment. The quiet was then interrupted by a peal of grating laughter as one of the pilots lifted his canopy and jumped out headed for the second of the spaceships. Before he arrived the second pilot had climbed down from his own cockpit. The two pilots were both young Argon males. As they walked towards each other it was clear from their vain swagger and the fine cut of their flight suits that they were both children of the rich elite of Argon society.
“I am so going to have you licked come the race.” Said the first.
“Dream on Murdo Serra,” The second pilot replied. “My Pa is getting a mark three afterburner installed. Perfect for acceleration after tight turns.”
“There’s no such thing Dempsy! And besides burners are banned from the race.” The first pilot, Murdo said excitedly.
“Not the mark three, it works differently, no more transfer of shield power to over clock the speed. This one just maxes out the ship speed faster. It’s a prototype so it seems to have slipped the net of rules.” Dempsy the second pilot explained.
“What? I have got to get me one of those.” Murdo said eagerly, then added more cautiously. “Else I have got no chance.”
“Sorry buddy, its been newly developed by my Pa’s company, so I doubt you will get your hands on one before the navy.” Dempsy cackled boorishly. “Besides you’ll still have more luck than that loser.”
Murdo followed Dempsy’s pointed thumb gesture upwards towards the viewing gallery. Pressed against the glass was a young Argon male. The pair began to laugh at the faded flight suit the boy was wearing.
“I don’t know why they let that reject wander around the station. They should have work camps for people like him.” Murdo sneered nastily.
“Yeah.” Dempsy gave a sarcastic wave to the unfortunate boy and the two young men began to laugh again.
The boy that the two were laughing at was in many respects already a man. He was already seventeen, only a couple of jazuras younger than the two young bullies. As he stared down enviously at Dempsy and Murdo, he ignored their offensive gestures. All his life he had dreamed of flying and through sweat and toil, he knew one day he would. It just riled him that there were people like those two who got through life sponging of wealthy families, never really appreciating the opportunities they were given.
He was deep in his reflections when he heard his battered old comm. unit bleeping. “Eli Graaf.” He said into the mouthpiece.
“Eli. I need your help with the ship can you come down to the bay?” It was his father Mitchell Graaf.
“I am on my way.” Eli Graaf replied.
He hurried down the many corridors to the old service bay set aside for general use. This hanger was far grubbier and less well maintained than the one that Dempsy and Murdo used. Slung on a large frame rested the large bulk of an ageing Argon Lifter, the standard trading and freight carrying ship in the Argon territories.
“Hello son.” A middle-aged man said from beneath the ship. “Can you give me a hand with these repairs? I think one of the injector coils has sprung a leak.”
“OK dad, give me a minute.” Eli said as he donned a pair of work gloves. He crawled underneath the freighter and looked into the open maintenance hatch. As he rooted around inside, his father asked, “So son, what have you been up to today?”
“Well, I just went to look at the ships in the private hangers.” Eli replied.
“Oh, son, you know you end up getting upset. In a couple of tazuras, you will be eighteen and can go for your pilot’s license. Then you can be co-pilot on the Reliable. His father was referring to the Lifter.
“Really, you will let me come along on every trip?” Eli asked eagerly.
“Most of them son.” The elder Graaf replied.
“I see what is wrong here… pass me one of those clamps.” The conversation was abruptly interrupted by the sound of a welding torch as Eli sealed a breach in the injector coil.
“I have a run up into the Boron territories next mazura if you wish to join me.” Mitchell suggested.
“Could I? That would be great.” Eli said eagerly.
“Shall we test these repairs then?” Mitchell asked.
“Ok.” Eli replied. As his father clambered into the Lifter’s cockpit, Eli put on ear-protectors fitted with a microphone. “Alright Dad, ease her up.”
The engine began to flare slightly with plasma wash as Mitchell Graaf activated them. The clamps holding the ship in place began to shudder slightly under the force of the ship’s thrust. “OK Dad, ease her back down to ten percent or you will break something.” The shuddering began to subside slightly.
After a couple of mizuras, Mitchell switched the engines off again. “Looks like the coils are holding.” He said to his son.
“They sure are, but we ought to get a replacement as soon as possible.” Eli suggested.
Mitchell nodded his agreement. “It’s going to cost though, I should get enough credits from the Boron trip to pay for a complete overhaul.”
Eli brightened at the thought. It was tough being an independent hauler in a world of mega corporations and transport conglomerates. That his father managed to keep his small business going was a testament to his determination and hard work.
“Eli stop day dreaming, we need to finish up here and get cleaned up, your mother will be disappointed if we are late for dinner.”
“Sorry Dad, I will just clear up the tools.” Graaf started to place the various pieces of equipment into a modified standard cargo crate. It was a sign of his father’s company, Graaf’s Independent Trading, to be innovative with limited resources. This crate was specially compartmentalised to hold all the tools a mechanic needed to do his job.
When the clearing up was finished the pair made their way quickly out of the hanger levels towards the habitat ring. The station had many living sections. Some held hotels and hostels, from the five star luxury suits, to basic bunkrooms for crewmembers. Past all the glamour of the casinos, restaurants and other entertainment establishments were the quarters for those who had made the station their homes. In this cheaper quieter section, Mitchell Graaf rented a small apartment, which kept his family in basic comfort.
Mitchell opened the door to the apartment, to see his wife Elzabeth standing in the small kitchen unit off from the main living area. “Hi hun” he said as he grabbed her about the waist and kissed her on the cheek. Her face lit up with a beaming smile, which accentuated her still youthful features. She slapped his hands away. “Watch it Mr Graaf, I don’t want your grubby hands spoiling my cooking.”
Mitchell stepped away and headed towards the bathroom to clean himself up. “Hi Mom.” Eli said to Elzabeth then went to switch on the vidscreen.”
“What no kiss for your ageing mother?” Elzabath replied cheerfully.
Eli groaned, but dutifully went over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
“Now go and lay the table, actually first go and wash your hands, they are worse than your father’s.” Elzabeth scolded him.
This elicited another groan from the young man. Secretly he loved the attention that his doting parents gave to him, but at the same time sometimes they treat him like a kid still.
“Bathroom is all yours son.” Mitchell said as he passed Eli in the small corridor to the sleeping quarters. “Make sure you rinse out the sink after, you know how your mother gets when she sees grime in the bowl.”
Eli gave a knowing smile. His mother was a wonderful person, but she became a tyrant when she found things out of place. He quickly scrubbed the grease and oil from his hands and rinsed it all down the sink. He gave them a halfhearted rub on a towel and then hurried to lay the table.
“Too late kiddo.” Mitchell said. “Beat you to it. Someone has to be proactive around here.”
“Well it’s a good job I am about then isn’t it Mitch.” Elzabeth chuckled. “You need me to tell you what to do. Now finish laying the table like I told you to.”
“Yes dear.” Mitchell replied in a mock sullen tone.
As Eli sat down, his mother placed a large covered dish in the centre of the table. The aroma from the food made his mouth water. His father reached out to lift the lid only to have his hand slapped away by Elzabeth.
“Wait you eager beaver, there is more to come.” Elzabeth said as she hurried back into the kitchen. When she returned she was carrying a basket filled with freshly baked loaves of delaxian bread.
As the two men sat eagerly for permission to start Elzabeth clasped her hands and closed her eyes. “We give thanks for this food, as our ancestors have done before. We pray that one day we will do this again with our brothers and sisters in the paradise of earth.” Elzabeth’s parents had been Goners and she till kept many of their traditions. It had been her choice to call her son Eli, a name that he disliked for its religious connotations.
When she had finished her quiet prayer, she whisked the lid of the dish. The meal consisted of a thick stew made from argnu beef and fresh greens grown in the hydroponics bay, flavoured with stott spices. Elzabeth was an accomplished cook and soon the room was quiet except for the snuffling sounds of people eating and the occasional grunt of approval.
“This is excellent as always hun.” Mitchell said once his initial appetite was sated.
“I am glad you like it.” Elzabeth replied, she then asked Eli. “So what did you get up to today.”
“Well apart from helping Dad with the Reliable, I went to the training centre to have a go on the sims. Oh and I also had a peek in the private hangers. I think some people are going to take part in the annual race.” He said excitedly.
“Oh really, that sounds nice.” Her voice suggested the feigned interest common to parents. At the same time her eyes locked with Mitchell’s and filled with mirth.
“Ah.” Eli said angrily. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Mitchell grinned knowingly. “Never mind son, most of these racers are a bunch of layabouts anyhow.”
“Maybe.” Eli agreed half-heartedly. “I’m going to go for a walk, thanks Mom.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and headed for the door.
“Make sure you are back before 2200.” Elzabeth called after him.
“Yes Mom.” He answered exasperatedly. Like all teenagers he knew the rules, he was just tired of them.
His walk was not an aimless one to clear his head; he had a goal in mind. He was heading for the simulator hall to ease his tension playing one of the many combat games. His favourite was called “INVASION!” and was set during the first Xenon conflict. The game had little subtlety, simply involving the player fighting increasingly powerful waves of Xenon ships. The three high scores were all his. No one seemed to match his skill, or the hours he put into playing it. Today he resolved to beat his personal best. He hoped his frustration would give him an extra edge.
He had been playing for half a stazura when the first person came over to watch. “Wow Level twenty-two are you really that far in? And you haven’t lost a life.” It was true, once he got going Eli was unstoppable. He was currently fighting a pair of Xenon destroyers. The player ship was extremely unrealistic as although only a fighter it carried weapons capable of taking out a cruiser. One of the destroyers accelerated towards him, aiming to ram, a favoured ploy of the Xenon for countless jazuras. It was what he was waiting for, he used his trademark manoeuvre, “the flip of death” he called it. As the destroyer hurtled towards him, he moved just beneath it, holding his trigger down he pulled back on the joystick flipping his ship rapidly through 180 degrees. As he did so his laser shots formed an arc, which hammered across the belly of the destroyer, tearing down its shields and causing it to explode in a massive fireball.
“Hey, hey kid, you are pretty good.” The spectator said, beating his hands together in loud applause. Other people noticed and made their way to see the commotion. Within mizuras there was a large crowd of people all jostling to watch as he made his way through the levels of the game. The score counter constantly flickered upwards as ship after ship was destroyed. “If this was real, then the Xenon would have been driven back long ago.” Someone said. “Have you thought about joining the navy?”
Eli suddenly looked up, he had not realised anyone had been observing, let alone a whole crowd of people. He mumbled something unintelligible about being too young and the returned to the game. Only two more levels to beat his record were left. A dozen destroyers came slashing towards him. Even at the height of the conflict, only a handful of such large ships were ever present in an engagement, but this was just a game. Realism took second place to action.
He fought his way to a standstill. He was drenched in sweat by the time the last destroyer was eliminated. The crowd were watching with such intensity that they almost made no noise. As the destroyer blew apart, they all cheered some even embracing each other in the moment. It looked like he was going to achieve a new high score.
Unfortunately just at that moment, Dempsy and Murdo loped into the room. “Oh looky here,” Dempsy remarked. “It’s the loser playing at vid games.”
“Yeah, looks like people actually find the kid fun to watch too, Hull knows why he is such a pathetic creature.” Murdo said.
“Hah, kid you any good against a real opponent, not some wired up AI.” Dempsy sneered looking at Murdo for support.
“Cut that out.” Said a tall stern looking man. “The kid’s got talent.”
“Yeah well then let the kid prove it. Lets play head to head on one of the other games.”
“Alright.” Eli replied, his voice slightly mournful at not beating his high score. “But I am not a kid, and my name is Eli Graaf.”
“Eli? What kind of Gonerish name is that?” Dempsy spat derisively.
Eli ignored the jibe as he strapped himself into one of the head to head simulators. The head to head devices were advanced units. They included piston controlled parts which gave the illusion of manoeuvring as the pilots controlled them.
“I am going to so cream you kid that they’ll have to lick you off my boots.” Dempsy boasted as he jumped into his own simulator.
Eli watched as his screen went the intro screen to a star field bounded by the smooth lines of a cockpit canopy. The seat began to vibrate with the simulated hum of a ship’s power plant. On his HUD, he could make out one red blip on his gravidar several klicks away. That must be Dempsy, Eli thought. A warning began to blare in his ear. “Missile launch detected.” He chuckled to himself, it was a predictable opener by Dempsy and easily avoided.
As the missile hurtled towards him, he swung his ship round to point towards it. He watched the range counter cycle down, just before fire range, he fired three times. The third shot connected blowing the missile up. In reply to Dempsy’s attack he sped towards him. He locked a missile on Dempsy and fired.
Dempsy saw the missile, but reacted to late to target it. Eli watched as his opponent slammed his ship to the right to avoid the missile and then finished the turn to shoot it from the sky as it tried to turn to reengage.
Eli knew he had Dempsy now. As the arrogant young man turned to approach him, he launched a missile again. Dempsy again span around to the right.
“Not very imaginative are we kid.” Dempsy sneered.
Eli had expected Dempsy’s reaction and followed him, opening up with his twin lasers. The shields on his target began to plummet under the withering fire.
“Damn you, you pathetic brat.” Dempsy said in anger.
The only reply he got from Eli was a second barrage of lasers. The shields finally fell and the ship exploded, followed by a stream of cursing.
“Nice try Dempsy,” Eli said, “next time try to be less predictable, you leave yourself open to attack.” He was trying to be helpful, Dempsy did not take it that way.
As Eli climbed out of his simulator a fist flew through the air and slammed into his jaw. Unbalanced, as he was half way out of the seat, he fell to the floor. Before Dempsy could do more than kick Eli a few times in the ribs, the man who had supported Eli intervened.
Dempsy was suddenly thrown violently across the room. “So do you think you can take on a real opponent then not some kid who kicked your butt in the simms?”
Murdo gathered Dempsy up from the floor and dragged him back. Blood pouring from his nose Dempsy snarled “you’ll regret this.” His hand gestured at both Eli and the older man. No one was sure which he meant.
“Don’t worry about him kid,” the man said. “Let me look at your injuries.” The man began to examine the shaking Eli. “Seems you will soon have a colourful bruise there, but nothing worse. I am Klaus Derich”
“Thanks” Eli managed to say. “ I’m Eli Graaf.”
“Well master Graaf, I think I had better get you home.” Said Derich.
Derich helped the ailing Eli to his feet, and supported him as he staggered towards the door and the corridor home. Eli whinced with every step, pain was shooting through his ribs with each footfall.
Back in the apartment, Elzabeth Graaf was pacing back and forth, her brow furrowed with worry. “He is forty mizuras late, he should have been back by now. Something must have happened.”
“Don’t fret yourself Elza.” Mitchell said supportively, “he’ll be fine, he’s a tough kid, besides he is probably just carried away with one of those simulator games.”
Elzabeth would not be dissuaded. “OH I hope you are right, it can be so dangerous sometimes, what with drunken spacers about at this time.”
“He’ll be alright, those bums never come through this way, too much hassle. That’s why the bars are always next to the hostels.” Mitchell countered.
Just as Elzabeth finally sat down, her head in her hands, the doorbell chimed. She rushed to the door fearing it was the station police coming to tell her of an accident or worse. As she opened the door she saw a tall strongly built middle-aged man, supporting her son.
“Oh Eli, you are ok.” She said as she grabbed him, smothering him in a bear hug. He winced in the tight embrace, and she realised he was hurt. “Oh my baby what happened?”
Derich grinned at Eli’s embarrassed silence. “Oh, he was beat up on my two jealous spoilt brats who wanted to play bully. Fortunately I was about to mind their manners.”
“Oh thank you Mr..?”
“Derich, Klaus Derich ma’am, at your service.”
As he passed Eli fully into her arms, she spotted a tattoo on his forearm. She stiffened for a moment and then moved Eli to his father who was now standing in the doorway.
“Thank you Mr Derich, you have been helpful, now please I must see to my son. Is there anything we can do for you?” Her tone suggested she hoped there was not.
“No ma’am just glad I could be of assistance. I will be moving on now, but take care of the kid, he has a bright future a head of him.” Derich span stiffly around and headed back down the corridor
“Thank you once again sir.” Elzabeth said after him more politely, suddenly realising how ungracious she had been.
“Rather abrupt on the poor fellow.” Mitchell mentioned when they had got Eli back into his room.
Elzabeth ignored her husband whilst she helped Eli get into bed. “I’ll check on you in a few mizuras ok honey.” She spoke softly, and then headed out to the living room. Through the thin walls he could hear the muffled voices of his parents arguing. He had never heard them do that before. It must have been to do with the tattoo on Derich’s arm, he thought. He had noticed his mother’s reaction when she looked at it.
It had been a very bold tattoo with bright colours. It depicted a mailed fist holding a hammer with odd writing on it. Surrounding the hammer’s head were stylised flashes of lightening. He wondered what it symbolised. Given his mother’s reaction perhaps it was religion.
He suddenly yawned, after his run in with the two bullies and the mammoth simulator session he felt drained. It was not long until he fell asleep, the thoughts of his parents’ argument slipping away with his fading consciousness.
Early in the morning, Eli dragged himself out of bed. The pain in his ribs had faded to a dull throb. Memories of the previous night flooded back to him. He remembered his parents’ argument and hoped they had patched things up.
Once he had dressed, he went into the living room. The atmosphere was cold. His parents sat in stony silence. His father looked grim, reading the local news journal sipping coffee from a small mug. Even worse to Eli, his mother was not her usual cheerful self. For the first time in Jazuras he missed her fussing over his messy hair, which always stuck up when he woke up. Her eyes were red and still full of tears. He suddenly realised his last support base in times of trouble might not be as firm as he had thought.
When Mitchell noticed Eli rattling about in the kitchen he seemed to suddenly come awake. “Right, I guess I had better get to work on the ship, I’ve a delivery to make later today. Will you come and help me out Eli?”
“Sure dad, I just want to get some breakfast first.”
“OK son, well I’ll see you soon.” Mitchell headed towards the door. It did not escape Eli’s notice that his father had not spoken to his mother even to say goodbye. He decided he needed to fix things between his parents; it was his fault the argument happened.
He selected a simple gruel for breakfast as it was easy to make and he was not in the mood for something tasteful. He sat opposite his mother and tried to catch her eye but she seemed to be staring vacantly into space.
“Morning Mom,” he said.
“Hmm, oh good morning Eli, how are you feeling today.” She asked, her voice hoarse.
“Oh much better thank you.”
He sat waiting for a reply, but received none. He carried on eating, desperate to find some way to help. Then he grabbed at an idea that floated into his head. His hand snaked across the table and grasped his mother’s arm softly. It finally brought her focus onto him.
“Mom, I was thinking, tomorrow, I’ll be eighteen, which I guess makes me an adult.”
“Yes, I know, I never forget birthday’s honey.” She replied the ghost of smile on her lips.
“Well I was wondering that since this is the last tazura of me being a kid, that perhaps we could do something. You know together. Just mother and son.” He hoped this was a good idea.
Elzabeth began to weep softly. Eli thought he must have made things.
“Oh, Mom, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Forget I mentioned it” He said stroking her hand.
“No no, I would love to,” She said looking up her eyes sparkled again and a full smile broke the lines of tears. “Its just my little boy has grown up so fast.”
“Well I had better get going to help Dad, I will see you later and we will do whatever you like.” Eli rushed his breakfast crockery into the kitchen and then hurried to the door.
He paused remembering something more important and ran back to his mother. He gave her a long embrace, which stabbed pain across his bruised chest and kissed her on the cheek. “See you later." he whispered and then ran out.
Eli’s father was standing outside the ship swatting at imaginary enemies with a large spanner. His reach was quite expansive so the area about him was given a wide berth by those passing.
“Hey Dad, I’m here.” Shouted Eli as he picked his way around the clutter of the hanger, nearly tripping over a battered piece of machinery.
“Eli, good, glad you made, it, there is not much to do, we just need to rearrange the hold to fit large containers.” Mitchell called back.
The pair made their way into the Lifter’s spacious hold. There task would be to realign the many large girders which held storage crates in place. Both of them threw themselves into the work. The physical labour took their minds of recent events.
Working together, it did not take long for them to complete the task. They were resting together, chests heaving from exertion when Eli decided to ask his father about the tattoo.
“Dad, I noticed that Derich had a strange tattoo on his arm. I don’t suppose you know what it meant.” He asked.
Mitchell’s eyes flashed with anger, he peered into Eli’s face. He realised that his son was just being curious. “Well I suppose you aren’t too young to know, it’s the badge of the bounty hunter’s guild.”
“I hope that wasn’t the cause of the argument.” Eli asked fervently.
“Yes I suppose it is, your mother is wary of bounty hunters as they walk a fine line between the law and piracy. I guess we disagree on that one and I dug my heels in after your mother’s reaction.”
“Oh Dad, don’t tell me you fought over that? Come on, if anything its my fault. I should not have got into a fight, which ended in Derich rescuing me. Please don’t take my mistakes out on each other.”
“No son,” Mitchell replied. “Its not your fault, its mine for being an argumentative stubborn old fool.”
Eli grinned, his dad was neither old nor a fool in his eyes.
“Anyway I need to be off now, so run along. Oh and tell your mother I will be a little late back tonight.”
“OK Dad,” Eli said. He hurried out of the hanger to the observation gallery to watch his father depart. He reached the large window just in time to see the Lifter’s hatch close. As the freighter turned sedately around the cockpit was exposed and he could see his father waving to him. Eli waved back smiling as his father nosed his ship into the launch tube. The pressure doors closed behind it and his father’s ship was lost from view.
With an almost heavy heart Eli made his way back to his home. Every time his father left he felt worried. Even here in the core systems of Argon space, there were still many perils. The rigours of space have always been dangerous but there was always the threat of a pirate raid escaping patrols or a xenon probe force striking deep into regulated space. His fears were not unfounded, but his father always came back in one piece, or at least so far.
“Hi Mom,” he said as he re-entered the family apartment.
“Hello Eli, did you get everything sorted with your father.” It seemed his mother had cheered up.
“Yeah, he says he will be late home tonight.” Eli explained.
Elzabeth gave a faint yet secretive smile. “Yes he did mention that he might be.”
“Well we have plenty of time to ourselves now Mom, what do you want to do?”
“Well I thought at first we ought to go out and do all kinds of things. But, well, I don’t want to share the time with anyone else so I thought we should stay in. I figure we can have plenty of fun together.”
Eli spent the rest of the day at home. It had been a long time since he had used the apartment as more than a place to eat and sleep. Together they spent the rest of the morning chatting whilst Elzabeth cooked lunch for them both. The afternoon was spent playing games on the holo entertainment table in the living area. Eli was almost sad when his father walked through the door late in the evening.
“Hi honey, hi Eli.” Mitchell said as he entered. In his hands was a large bouquet of flowers.
“Oh Dad you shouldn’t have.” Eli replied cheekily.
“Haha son, very funny. No, these are for the most beautiful woman on the station.” He grabbed Elzabeth into his arms and span here around. When he finally put her down, he whispered into her ear. “I am sorry, like always, I’ve been an idiot.”
Elzabeth’s reply was to embrace him tighter and to kiss him passionately on the lips. Eli was cringing at the overt display of affection between his parents.
“But you’re my idiot.” Elzabeth whispered into Mitchell’s ear. Eli did not hear as he had suddenly found counting wall tiles was not as boring as it might have sounded.
The whole small family were in good humour throughout dinner. Eli was happiest most of all. He had been shocked and even frightened at his parent’s recent disagreement so was doubly happy now that they were together again.
“So how was the flight?” Eli asked.
“Same old trip to ‘the Hole’ really.” Mitchell answered. “Though I did catch a glimpse of the sector patrol attacking a xenon raiding party.”
“I hope your were careful dear.” Elzabeth said.
“Oh yeah, I looped around via the west gate, to keep some distance. I wish the Boron would bolster their defences in ‘Atreus’ Cloud’.” He remarked.
It was true that for a sector bordering Xenon territory the Atreus’ Cloud sector was under protected. The small aquatic species were renowned for their pacifism and kept their Xenon border lightly defended in the hope of not provoking them.
“It’s no matter Dad, your safe home and that is what matters.” Eli added, not wanting a political debate to flare up. There were too many raw wounds already.
“After dinner I’ll show you why I was late.” Mitchell said with the same secret smile his mother had earlier.
“Show me so it was a something that delayed you.” Eli began to work through his mind what it might be. It was his birthday the next tazura; perhaps it was a present, but what?
“Now look what you have done.” Elzabeth scolded Mitchell, although her voice was more amused than angry. “You have got poor Eli all worked up, he is going to sit there thinking about it all through dinner.”
“Ah that’s easily solved. Come on son it won’t be long. How was your day?” Mitchell asked.
“Oh it was fun, we spent all day at home, Mom beat me seven times at holochess it was embarrassing.” Eli replied.
“Well your mother was a champion back at college.” Mitchell grinned as he told his son.
“What? You never told me that.” Eli’s eyes flashed towards his mother.
Elzabeth patted his arm. “Its Ok you are pretty good too. Though if you spent less time in the simulator you could be much better.”
The meal was soon over and Eli quickly whisked the plates to the kitchen. He washed his hands in the sink and ran them still wet through his hair.
“I’m ready.” He said bursting into the living area.
Mtichell chuckled. “You seem rather eager son. I guess we had better be going.”
“Don’t stay too long.” Elzabeth said.
Eli wondered what she meant as he followed his father out of the apartment. Mitchell took a circuitous route in an attempt to confuse his son but Eli knew they were headed to the hanger. He assumed whatever the surprise was it would be found in the Reliable.
His assumption seemed to be correct as they entered the hanger and his father headed for the lifter, hanging as usual on it s docking clamps. It was a surprise to him when his father ducked on the ship and carried on walking beyond it. Eli followed behind.
As he straightened up again on the far side of the lifter, he saw his father stop. In front of him rested a ship. It was old, battered and scarred from meteor collisions. Most of the paint was stripped off from the hull, but from the open hatches and maintenance panels it was clear that its systems seemed to be in working order. Eli could only stand and stare at the ship an Argon discoverer, it seemed even to be of military grade, though unarmed.
“Happy birthday son.”
A Time for Heroes - Part One - Chapter 1 - (Complete)
Moderators: TheElf, Moderators for English X Forum
A Time for Heroes - Part One - Chapter 1 - (Complete)
Last edited by Graf_Grau on Thu, 5. May 05, 09:53, edited 2 times in total.
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Urashima Keitaro
- Posts: 1247
- Joined: Thu, 21. Oct 04, 11:25
Thanks, guys you have assuaged a lot of fears I had over this nonaggressive beginning.
Thanks Urashima for pointinh out that little problem. It seems I have new and knew licked and have started to merge speech. I have spotted that mistake in several places.
Am currently working on Chapter 3, (am trying to stay ahead!) but am quite busy for a change.
Glad everyone is enjoying it.
Thanks Urashima for pointinh out that little problem. It seems I have new and knew licked and have started to merge speech. I have spotted that mistake in several places.
Am currently working on Chapter 3, (am trying to stay ahead!) but am quite busy for a change.
Glad everyone is enjoying it.
Is that good or bad mechty? The "Sampler" was intended as an introduction so it will jump back and forwards between this every few chapters. This is to give the occasional reminder that Graaf is extraordinary.Looks more in a screenplay format compared with your previous sampler novel style.
one point i wanted to make... (i read the whole thing and so far it looks awesome)
*“Hi hun” he said as he grabbed her about the waist and kissed her on the cheek.*
it gives an image thats a little rough... unless hes gonna do the tip-woman-over-and-kiss-her-passionately-on-the-lips-thing.
"hey honey" he said as he slipped his arm around her waist, giving her a kiss on the cheek
this might be a better choice of words as it gives the imagery you seemed to be looking for in that sentence.
overall this story is a good read. can wait for chapter 7
*“Hi hun” he said as he grabbed her about the waist and kissed her on the cheek.*
it gives an image thats a little rough... unless hes gonna do the tip-woman-over-and-kiss-her-passionately-on-the-lips-thing.
"hey honey" he said as he slipped his arm around her waist, giving her a kiss on the cheek
this might be a better choice of words as it gives the imagery you seemed to be looking for in that sentence.
overall this story is a good read. can wait for chapter 7
![[ external image ]](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a158/Sirilius/SiriliusSig2.jpg){kind=link}
Doesn't have to be all fights etc there are loads of aggressive starts, thought the two discussing a mod in a future race pretty aggressive, gave the impression of rich kids asking daddy to buy them a new turbo for their mustang.Thanks, guys you have assuaged a lot of fears I had over this nonaggressive beginning.
Can't wait for the next part.
Might do some writing myself when I have time haven't written anything in a while so might be a bit rusty. Plus am playing rather a lot at moment
Layton
For the SPLIT!
For the SPLIT!